This, that, & the other.

First of all, I hope all my readers & friends had a very happy holiday weekend.  Everything went quite smooth & I am very glad that it did.  My house is filled with more toys than I know what to do with & so this week we are going to have to go through a lot of them to pitch the no good ones.

I have been thinking a lot about how I am about ready to become a Mom again.  I am Mom & Step-Mom right now... I have been helping J raise his two boys since I have lived here and it was quite the transition from 3 to 5. Now I'm going from 5 to 6.  The way things are ran here are about to change drastically and I am very afraid to raise a new born again.  We have a routine here, a very strict routine that of course gets broken every other weekend & we have to re-build but recently it hasn't be as hard to reconstruct the way things are around here.  I am trying to remind myself that if I can go from 3 to 5 and build our routine in a short amount of time it shouldn't be too hard to add one more to the bunch and figure out how to go from there.

I have been trying to distract myself with other peoples problems and drama than thinking about my own I guess. I don't have anything that's a HUGE problem in my life right now...Mainly thinking about money. I have a baby coming, 4 months after that I am going to be in a wedding (and I think about every day about coming up with the $$$ to pay off my dress) and in the midst of all of this we are now going to be starting our other project (Making more bedrooms which ACTUALLY needs to be done in 1 MONTH I don't know if someone has forgotten about that?) I just like to sit here and worry myself to death all of the time.

pppffttthhht.

Things are just swell...

Everything seems to be falling right into place. Our back room is finally done, thank God, we still have trim to put up and that is about it. That will cost a little less than $100.00 so that makes me super happy. Christmas shopping is almost done & today we found out when we are going to welcome our last child into the world!


I went to the doctor today and I have gained 2 lbs so far into this pregnancy. It's about time, really, because I have been sick the whole entire journey and I would like to think at 29 weeks my sickness would subside and I would be able to be healthy. Other than that she didn't really give me any good information. She pretty much reamed into me because I haven't had the flu shot yet. Honestly, I don't feel like pumping my body with a bunch of toxins that have been known to kill people so I don't think I will be receiving the flu shot. I had asked her when I was going to see Doctor Piper again and she had informed me that I wouldn't be having Dr. Piper this surgery that I would be having the new doctor, doctor Baum. If anyone has any information on this Dr. Baum that would be amazing. I haven't even met her yet! She is going to be delivering my baby in 9 weeks and 6 days. Luckily, I have started going to the Dr. twice a month now so I will be meeting her on the 23rd. I have a lot of questions to ask her!

A dilemma we faced today was the due date. They scheduled it without even asking me what *I* wanted. Alexanders birthday is on February 17th and they scheduled my delivery for the 16th.My actual due date is February 23, 2011. I really wanted to deliver the baby on February 9th, as it has a sentimental value for J and his family. J's Grandpa always said he had wanted to have a Grandchild on his birthday. Although he has passed some time ago, he is still alive in the families hearts, and not a day goes by that I don't hear all the magnificent stories of this man that I will never be able to met. Anyway, the Dr.'s will not let me have the baby 2 weeks early and I have to be stuck with the 16th as a date. I was afraid that Alexander would be very upset that he would probably have to share a birthday party with Gavin when the time comes, but the only thing he was really bummed out about was that I would be in the hospital on his birthday. So, I decided that if Alex wanted to, he could come up to the hospital and do something there. He thought that was an awesome idea so that is probably what we are going to do. A week before that I think we will have a birthday bash for Alexander. So it's not so bad, I don't think.



That's all to report I think! Thanks for reading. I get a lot of hits on my profile each day so please do not make yourself a stranger.

Someone is 4 today!

Hahaha...Not only do I have a 'blackmail' photo of Aiden & Alex I also have one for Joey. Here is our birthday boy only a few days ago in his sisters boots cuddling with her kitty. HAD to get a picture of this.


We had another round of small stomach problems for the past two days. J and I were up at 2 am with this particular birthday boy watching Ben 10 after a huge throw up scene. He had been keeping things down for lunch but dinner must have not agreed! But he is acting so much better later on today after sleep. Let's hope it stays that way and that no one else doesn't get this throw up stomach bug.


Anyway, Happy Birthday to Joseph!

How was your weekend? Mine could've been better!

This thanksgiving weekend we were able to surround ourselves with our closest family and have a pretty good time. I drug J out to watch HP & the deathly hallows. So you know, I have had him watch every single movie before that and he hated almost every single one of them, except for these last two. Haha! BUT! While we were watching the movie he had said he may be inspired to read all of the books. We will see about that! I'm the book worm around here but maybe after the room is finished I can get all of the books rounded up =-)

Anyway, the only reason why I think our weekend could've been better is because I really missed the kids a lot. Patrick took the kids on Wednesday (as it is his visiting night) and they have been there since then. I get them back tonight. We actually get all of the kids back tonight! Stoked...Totally.

50 things I am thankful for

1) All 5 (almost 6) of our children!
2)Husband..The best!
3)The house we own!
4)Food in our fridge
5)My Mom
6)My Dad & Step-Mom
7)My Siblings
8)The rest of my family..That goes for my side and J's side!
9)My JOB
10)My POS car
11)The friends who have stayed true to me!
12)My camera
13)Spell Check (seriously!)
14) Pickles
15)Cartoons that keep the kids semi-busy
16)Family nights
17)The Oceans (the one I saw was soooo beautiful while I was in Oregon!)
18)MUSIC
19)My wit
20)Being able to laugh things off
21)Facebook (I know right?!)
22)Ugg boots(aka feet clouds)
23)The first present J ever made me.."I will always love you" bracelet
24)My childrens laughter
25)The Non-Kill Animal shelteres
26)Chicago..had so much fun there
27)Movies
28)Good books
29)Poems
30) Our president
31)Teachers
32)Chinese food(Joy Garden FTW)
33)The lazers that blast my kidney stones when they wont pass themselves
34) ALL doctors
35)Art
36)Our troops who have served and are still serving!
37)Big fluffy blankets
38)Sex with my husband
39)Being me
40)Blogger
41)Tattoos
42)Freedom of religion
43)Freedom of speech
44)My cell phone
45)Having Cash monaaaay
46)Having HEAT
47)Wild life
48)BUGS/pests...They keep me with a job :)
49)Water
50) The ability to come up with 50 things I am thankful for! Happy Thanksgiving!

A year.

It's been a year since J and I had started our friendship. I really didn't expect it to ever go as far as it has (marriage?! having a baby?!) but it has & I am happier than I have ever been. So I guess I could say our friendship started a little over a year ago and it became something more with time.

It started out that he had heard I had been struggling and had been hurt by 2 people that I cared about deeply. My world was falling apart and he was there to pick up the pieces. He, in all honesty, was the last person that I would ever think to be there when I fell. I was a fed a lot of lies & trying to be a good friend & so in return he and I had our very aggressive spats.

What made me reflect on this is it's not only been a little over a year since we started being friends but the other night we were sleeping and we both came out of our slumber at around 1am and talked amongst other things until 3am. It was just beautiful! We have not done that in months. We have had to transition from being depressed and alone with our children to living under one roof & having many children. It puts a lot of stress on a relationship. But we have never quit and never really wanted to quit! It was so nice to just sit up and talk like we once did and kind of re-kindle that "new love" that was always there but was maybe forgotten because of the stresses of life.


As a lot of you know we have a new baby on the way and we are making room for him & our other children! John has been working his butt off for months now to make a new living room for us so we can make the living room we have now, into 2 bedrooms...Giving us enough space for all of our little brats. But the one thing that he had said the night before last when we were up and talking...Was that he wants to paint and carpet the room and not allow me to go in until it's finished..So I can see what he has done because he has been trying so hard to impress me. If you could see what this attached garage looked like and what it has been transformed in to you would understand why I am SO proud of what he has accomplished thus far! Not to mention a year later he is still trying to impress me. I have a feeling years on that he will still try to impress me. That is why I am glad through everything we have both been through we have found our true love. No one can break us down with any comments that they say about myself or him & no one can tear us apart no matter how hard they may try.

'tis the season.......to be broke.

Remember when you were young? Some of you have to look back...waaaaay back into the past and remember! (hehe)... I can always remember having a pretty good Christmas when I was young. Under the age of 10 is around where I'm thinking. Thanksgiving was about turkey and pilgrims and giving thanks for your family! Christmas was about church plays, Jesus and GIFTS!

Now to me Thanksgiving is about having to go to 5 different houses and stuffing myself with things I might not like to be polite. Christmas is about spending money that I probably don't really have on gifts that the kids just HAVE TO HAVE and will probably forget about in 2 weeks. Isn't it sad?

As I sit here and stress out over the fact that my 'step' sons birthday is in the beginning of December and then we have Christmas right after that. J nor I get the kids on Christmas this year, but we are doing our "Christmas" on Christmas Eve morning. Not to mention Alexanders birthday is just around the corner in February and I'm supposed to have a baby cut out around that time...Also, Dylans birthday is just right after that. LUCKILY we get a break for 2 short months until the twins birthday, but J and I will be working full time again.................And.......Well.......... See the pattern here? I'm thinking about MONTHS in advance because I'm freaking out about Christmas!

I just need to breath, really, because everyone says Christmas is about Jesus' birth and family togetherness not gifts. But let's face it, everyone probably panics around this time because everyone wants their kids to have the 'best Christmas ever' every.single.year.  Also, no matter how much I try not to "over do" it I'm always going to "over do" it because we have so many children.

I have a plan. Even though my husband is probably the least religious person ever, I still plan on sharing what these holidays to come are about. I just need to not forget myself while we're opening our pocket books to fork out some hefty cash...

Or plan B.

Here is a box, string and a bouncy ball.... You figure it out...Happy Holidays!

ugggghhhh

Since Thursday we have been struck with the flu in our house. Having as many people as we do in our family and 1 little bathroom, it's been pretty interesting. Today we are all still using the bathroom pretty frequently but the puking has subsided for the most part. Aiden vomited a little bit this morning but he has been fine ever since.

I've been trying to 409 everything in the midst of all the nasty & trying to make sure the kids use germ x as much as possible. I know my hands are seriously dried out from it...I can't wait for this to end.

I have so much more to write and so much more on my mind but I don't want to sit up longer than I have to....All I have to say to end this is, I'm so dissappointed in the lack of interest from either non custodial parents on how the kids are doing. That's all. 

Send some get better dust our way please :)

Do not conform!

"I'm not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I've always been a freak. So I've been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I'm one of those people."-John Lennon



Totally on a roll today with my thoughts & I didn't expect to think this much and want to write this much. 

Today while we were out getting a few last minute things before tomorrow and some lunch I look at all of the people around me. There are some people that are truly just weird, there are so many people that are just the same.

I live in Knoxville, Illinois. The land of snobby Mothers and their cliques. It's like high school all over again, it seems, with some of these women. I realize that it's not just in Knoxville, but it is so much worse here that it is say in Galesburg. I always had friends in my short life at school, I was friends with everyone. Very rarely did I not like anyone-they usually just didn't like me because I wasn't going to conform to their cookie cutter persona. But here I simply can not make friends with almost any of these women. You walk up to the school to pick up your child and you have your group of what I like to call the "plastic Moms of Kville." I really feel like they are pretty much critiquing everything you have on, every word you say within their ear shot, anything really.

I like my t-shirts and my dyed hair, I give my kids kool-aid (haha, that was a huge deal the other day I realized with some of the Moms for the Halloween parties...Which doesn't make sense to me..Halloween is supposed to be about the sugar!) I wont conform to what the "perfect" mom is...Lets face it, no matter how much one tries to say that they never scream, never get pissed off, never give their kids sugar and their homes are always in tip top shape!............ Probably is a robot. 

Of course I'm only kidding, I think. 

I'm always going to be that Mom that wants her kids to do extra curricular activities (see previous blogs for reference) I'm always going to be involved in school life, what they are doing, how they are doing, so on and so forth...But I will not conform. I am fine being that outcast. I don't have to lie to myself everyday and pretend that I am perfect or even that they are perfect....I like the way I am...Just wish you did too!

....and then it just hit me.

For the past few days I've been really upset and trying to think of different ways to deal with a certain someone in our house. He's 3 (almost four), big brown eyes......Well, Joseph. I came to the conclusion awhile back ago that he hates me. He always wants the opposite of what I give him, he never listens anymore & he he pretty much just collapses whenever I tell him to do something that he doesn't want to. Like, seriously, collapse. He does it with others to but it's more dramatic with me. The other little kids some times do it as well, but it is NOT as dramatic. It is NOT as painful to watch and it is just not the same thing.

John and I think it's because *I* am the rule enforcer. I try to not let the kids get by with doing whatever they want whenever they want as much as possible. It's really hard because they all have strength in numbers and tend to pull me every which way. Alexander complains about this to me about Miley and Miley complains about Joey and Aiden complains about whatever Miley is complaining about and Joey is crying about I don't know because he is having his "fit" and Dylan...Well Dylan just kinds of sits back and watching it all go down, haha.

I have to be the rule enforcer. I can't just let them run the house. I can't just let Joey do whatever he wants because he is screaming the loudest and I want him to stop....I feel like I'm losing my mind!

But! This morning while thinking about birthday party plans for Joey & other things about the kids...It just hit me.Joey isn't a spoiled brat who hates me and will always hate me for eternity....He is strong-willed! But then I thought to myself, there is probably a fine line between strong-willed and just your average brat. So, I did some reading to try to figure out some things.

Strong-willed children don't usually roll with the punches. They tend to react to situations and environments intensely, exhibiting extrem signals of happiness and sadness when confronted with different circumstances and environments. (aka JOEY!)(http://www.livestrong.com/article/52565-characteristics-strongwilled-child/)

As I read onto this website and other websites I feel like I am reading a book about our guy Joey. An example was given about how they react when things change. I think he has suffered more this past year than anything. There have been good things that have happened but there has also been a lot of bad things happen. I was a part of both restraining orders against John. Before he and I got together I witnessed Joseph cry everyday constantly for his Dad. After J and I got together, I did not get to witness how he acted but I could only imagine because he was more verbal after I moved in and not to mention he was never the same when he came back. He's more sensitive, he NEVER wants J to leave without him and there are other things as well. He acts out in ways that have characteristics of a traumatized strong-willed child!


So now the question is, being the "enforcer" that I am...How do I deal with this? I read this website and it helped a lot.  http://www.adoptionarticlesdirectory.com/Article/Parenting-the-Strong-Willed-Child-and-Keeping-the-Upper-Hand/12202


I have read and heard and wrote about consistency, consistency, consistency with the children. I have caved with the kids..."If I give you this fruit snack with you please just shut up..." But seriously, especially with Joe, I have found it's SO important to give him the same things I try to now. I can't give up, I can't let things get to me, I have to keep going & even though it's particularly harder to deal with him when he is bad....I read that he probably will be the more successful one out of all of them because he is so strong-willed. Not to say that none of our children will be successful in life...But if I continue my work with him he will eventually strive and not only do *I* need to work with him on being consistent and not just giving him what he wants. J does too, family member do too..I need help! Things will get better...and I have to keep going...because I love him so much. It kills me when we have our spats. So onward I go............

Family fun

Thanks to Aiden for frosting the cake...Except he was mainly concerned with sticking his finger in it!


So anyway, I've had some serious blogs the past couple of days & I am really enjoying the messages I get on here & facebook about what I write. But today I'm going to try to write more about less-serious things and talk about fun things that we do as a family.

We usually try to have a few family movie nights a month. The other day we watched How to Train Your Dragon. John & myself loved it and all of the kids loved it, we all thought it was SUPER cute! I think Alexander liked it more than the others because he can understand it more, since he is older.


Sometimes when you have so many children in one home with differently likes and personalities it's hard to pick a movie that will interest them all or an activity that will interest them all. What are some things that you do as a family that everyone seems to enjoy? We enjoy things from coloring to reading stories to watching movies to decorating cup cakes...Share some of your ideas with me, please! I'd really appreciate it!

Residential Custody.

I love the fact that all of the children live with us....It's such a blessing & also a rare thing for J to have custody like he does. We leave in a judge favoring women world and that's why it's such a "wow" deal.

However, sometimes "joint custody" feels like it doesn't mean anything sometimes. I have my children 84% of the time and John has the boys 64% of the time. We buy pretty much everything for the kids. Grant it I get 75 dollars every week for child support (but $75.00 doesn't go very far) and a huge unfortunate bullshit deal (but had to be done so J could get what means more than money to him..his boys) he has to pay his ex wife child support (even though he has residential custody...that kind of goes with the woman's world deal...a sob story about a gallon of milk a day goes far.) It is up to us to buy mostly everything for school, winter coats, etc. It doesn't seem fair, but that's how it is, and it doesn't bother me as much anymore as it did at first... probably because I loveeeeee shopping for the kids, haha.......Not to mention we are  very blessed because if for whatever reason there is something we can not get at the time, we always have family that will helps when we need it.

Also, something I tend to forget quite often is that I have 100% custody of Alexander, my eldest, but he tends to go in with that "joint custody" since Patrick DOES include Alexander in everything. I do count my blessings though. A lot of women are left to do everything on their own, as a lot of my friends do, and they do not get a dime from their children's "Fathers"....Same with a lot of men. A lot of women walk out on there children for their knights in shining armors & you have those men that are left to be Mom & Dad.


I'm not sure I even have a point right now, I'm just kind of jotting things that are going on in my mind.

I think I will just be sappy today.

"True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness."

 I don't have a perfect relationship. In fact, I don't know anyone who is in a perfect relationship. In the beginning when you're in that first phase everything seems perfect at that given time, sure. But as things get more serious more issues arise and it's all a matter of how things are dealt with.

My husband & I came from pretty wrecked relationships. We were with the other for 10 & 6 years (roughly) and it makes you wonder if everything was so terrible why did we keep going as long as we did? Without trying to air too much out, anyone who is probably reading this knows exactly why each others relationships ended, both on bad notes...(does a marriage ever end on a good one though?)

Anyway, in comparison to how things are with each other are so much different. John & I barely ever fight...In fact when we do fight we usually end it on someone smiling because one of us has just realized we're fighting over nothing. J & I both have agreed if (God forbid) anything ever went terribly wrong that we would do anything in our powers to make sure that we did everything that we could to make things work....Which is what the other relationships lacked. Effort.

In every marriage it takes some little effort & it takes some a lot of effort. We are lucky that thus far our relationship/marriage hasn't taken much effort to keep each other happy. We have quite a lot in common & even if we don't agree on certain things we always seem to come to some kind of agreement. I feel so lucky to have such a reasonable husband as I do. I can talk to him about anything and everything and he can talk to me about anything and everything. We still can talk on the phone constantly when he is out on a job...(via text) about pretty much everything. Our love life is splendid & always has been....As far as the children go we love all of them with all of our hearts and would give anything for them (as we do).

I am so lucky.

zip.

"I know nothing of philosophical philanthropy. But I know what I have seen, and what I have looked in the face in this world here, where I find myself. And I tell you this, my friend, that there are people (men and women both, unfortunately) who have no good in them--none. That there are people whom it is necessary to detest without compromise. That there are people who must be dealt with as enemies of the human race. That there are people who have no human heart, and who must be crushed like savage beasts and cleared out of the way." -Charles Dickens


I have posted something before as to how adults should act in public & how as parents how we should teach our children how to act in public. What about behind closed doors? When children are at home they tend to "act out" a little more than usual. The same goes for adults, it seems. I have recently noted that not only are some actions in public quite disgusting & rude....At ones home they can be disgusting and rude...So how do you teach your children to act in a kind manner for say, a guest? Even if they do not like them? Obviously you can not make someone like another, but there is something that is called tact-which it seems to me some people have forgotten how to use.


"Actions really do speak louder than words.  Parental role modeling helps teach children to be caring and kind.  In fact, some studies show that children can show signs of empathy and concern from a very early age.  In other words, parents have the power to nurture, guide, show and instill -- to teach kindness, responsibility, and gentleness in a rude and violent world."    http://www.rudebusters.com/etikid.htm




I am not a saint, I can not claim that I never have been disrespectful even when someone "deserved" it...I was a teenager once. But there are times, even more so now, where I have to learn to vent later & be an adult and mind what I say.Even on my own property & even in my own home. It does not make me a wuss, it does not make me anything but someone who is NOT in the mental bracket of a spoiled 15 year old, which is also known as a responsible adult who knows what manners are, especially at ones home.

Activities

Click here if you want to see a video of all the kids painting their pumpkins!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFWeL_t3m38



Enjoy:)


xox
Nikki

"Beauty comes in all sizes, not just size 5."

I don't know how many times I've written about sizes and shapes. I don't know how many times I've been actually down on myself and feeling quite hypocritical.

They say never judge a book by it's cover, beauty comes within, beauty is in the eye of the beholder...and while I try to hold onto those things, I am human. We don't always look for that personality or the smarts...We look for the face. What is in a face? What is in a body? What changes peoples perspective on ones appearance?

I always like to give my husband a lot of heck. He's said he has always loved my face, he's always had a thing for faces and he has always thought it was beautiful. I always ask him, what about my body? When I first met him officially, I had lost a lot of weight from being pregnant with the twins. After that I had gradually gained A LOT of weight while being depressed and everything. During that time he had said "Shes pretty, too bad shes fat." He denies it, and while I don't know if the source is reliable, I don't doubt it.

What has made him change his mind now? Love? Does love cure all human thought? Why would it be too bad that I was fat? I am still the same person then as I was now. I still care about people, I still enjoy the same things...before I became pregnant(this time) I had lost at least 50 lbs or more. Could that be it? What if I am as big as the goodyear blimp by the time I am finished with my pregnancy, will that make a difference? These are questions I like to ask myself frequently about the way I look. It's quite sad actually, because like I said previously. I will still be the same. I will have not changed my personality.


I want to teach the boys & Miley things that I have tried and still try to teach myself. No matter what race, gender, sexual orientation, or size....People are people and everyone deserves a chance for friendship. If you see that chubby girl sitting by herself at the dance, offer a dance, EVEN if it means you could be made fun of. Chances are-everyone will have forgotten it by tomorrow and you just made that one girls day. Or boys, for that matter. These are things I wish I would've remembered on my lowest of low days especially as a teenager-starving to be perfect. I ended up screwing not only my mind up but my metabolism and as an adult I am paying for it. I know many other people that are starving to be perfect-and because of that-they are not only going to pay for it health wise...Their faces are looking older & the glow has gone from them...All they have is their body, and a sad spirit.

Super stoked to see our baby today.

Well, we had our ultrasound today to determine what are little penguine is...oh BOY it's another BOY! I'm totally happy that I got to see our little guy. J & I both were really rooting for a girl, because we both think that we need less testosterone in this house...But alas we are adding another boy to the mix. He was totally awesome, he kept sticking his little hands and fingers into his mouth & was doing flips and flops we're lucky we even got to see the weenie. Speaking of weenie, this kids weenier is pretty huge! No mistaking this one :) Not to sound inappropriate or anything!

We haven't told the kids yet. I think Alexander & Joey will be excited though. They wanted me to have a boy even though every once and awhile Joseph would say that "he had a baby sister in his belly" but I think it will be alright. Miley sure is in trouble though. 5 brothers to kick whatever boys butts that try to make a pass at her!

The name we had previously picked out for the little man was Ryan Benjamin. But I felt like it wasn't right so we both decided to go with Gavin Benjamin. It really wasn't hard for us to agree on a name, the other name I really enjoyed was Grayson, but J didn't like that one very well.

I'm excited, now we can start buying little things here and there for our little booger.

How to act in public.

   So we've had at least one or more temper tantrums happen in the grocery store, mall or elsewhere with every single child that lives in our house at one time or another. Or one of the kids decided to not exactly use their inside voices. These are things that we have to gradually teach our children between what's appropriate and what isn't appropriate. Unfortunately, there are far too many parents in this world that do not think of teaching their children these sorts of things.

    Friday evening we took my sister, Alyssa, to the quad cities to get her homecoming dress. The particular store we were in was filled with some of the most obnoxious people! I seriously could not stand it. They were all teenagers and some of them were with little babies(I'm ASSUMING  their own children), acting like little babies. It was quite sad, actually. Not only were they rude to myself and anyone around them, they were loud and a few were pretty insulting. I'm really glad that we found my sisters dress pretty quickly because I felt like I was going to explode on someone.


     Sadly on a daily bases we all have to deal with someone who lacks the ability to behave.Wether it's someone you know, or someone you do not know..It's inevitable....and it's sad especially when those you are surrounded by are adults. Which is why I definitely want to make sure that the children we are raising in our home aren't one of those adults or teenagers, so we will lead by example.

Education importance in your family.

 

My school life was a short one.

I was reading chapter books by the age of 4, kindergarten teachers wanted to put me in advanced learning, I was doing rather well in my younger years. One of the many disappointments in my child hood was when someone gave my Mom and Step-Dad the bright idea of home schooling. Ok, before you start thinking that I'm going to write this entire blog knocking on home school, I'm not. 

One of the embarrassing mistakes I think for my Mom was that I was pulled out of school to do nothing. I did not do work. In fact I don't remember doing any work at all except to turn it in so we wouldn't get into trouble. So maybe a few tests here and there that I got the answers given to me. I remember the truency officer coming over to my home because someone (I'm assuming a family member) had turned Scott & my Mother in for me not doing any type of schooling. Everything was pretty easy to get around and we continued to not do a thing. I did not learn anything for 1,2,3,4 or 5th grades. In that mean time my Mom had 2 kids, her marriage was falling apart, and amongst other things started to happen. They both decided to dump me into 5th grade again (which means I would be "held back" but had the educational mind of a 1st grader.) I did rather well in everything for the most part. Reading & writing were my strong points because that's all I knew how to do. Math, Science,Spelling and other things were my weak points and still are my weak points. I have hard time adding and subtracting unless I'm using my fingers, I really truely sometimes feel like an idiot.

In my Jr. High years I barely passed Math. I would always do the extra credits and things to get my grade up to a D, and as most of you know I dropped out of High School 1st semester of 10th grade (which would've been originally my 11th grade year) I passed my GED with flying colors...Oh except for the Math of course. They failed me for the entire test because I didn't do well in math but perfected everything else. So I gave up on that, because I figured I must not even be good enough to get that done.

With my kids I'm hoping & praying that it will be completely different. Every since Alexander was born I've always sang ABC's and 123's with him. I taught him how to write his name by the age of 2 1/2 and he is reading what they call "fluent" chapter books in the 1st grade. Guess what he is struggling with, though? Math. I never ever thought to teach him how to add things. I feel like as a Mother I've failed to teach him how to add and take away/ do simple little equations....It never even crossed my mind. I've written his teacher a note on trying to help him with his problems because I don't ever want him to feel like he is stupid because he doesn't understand. Anyone can do anything if they have a good support system behind them. That goes for all of the children. Joey, Dylan, Miley, Aiden, & even our unborn baby. I never want them to feel like they aren't smart because they just "don't get it" I want them to succeed in life and that is my main goal in MY life. They don't have to be little geniuses or anything or straight A students even, I just know that every single one of them has potential to be something magnificent. I just wish someone would've thought that about me.

Hobbies

So you're probably thinking I'm crazy but I have seriously been wanting to pick up a hobby for the past couple of weeks. My problem with finding a hobby to do is finding the time to actually do something worth while. I guess I have picked up 'blogging' has a hobby but it's not really something I can show for it. I want to work with something and be creative. So, I looked at some ideas online for 'working moms and hobbies' and I found a lot of neat things...But I had a sarcastic comment to go with every single thing.

Scrapbooking  I don't feel like spending hours and hours on something the children will find and destroy..again.....(I would like to invest in a shelf) 

Knitting  Hi, I'm not 60.

Crossword puzzles are for squares?

Flying a plane  Oh yeah, I have one of those in my back yard?!?

Blogging  Sweet....Already do that one!

The list goes on and on and on...Basically it was a lost cause for me. I miss taking tons of photographs, my computer that I had died and J's computer is pretty much the oldest piece of junk ever, so that's kind of out of the question.....I need some ideas!

Eventful Sunday! or not....

I have a not-so-happy little girl in a sling in my arms in this photograph! This was at about 12:30am last night after sitting in the ER since 8pm waiting to figure out what the deal was with her arm.

Yesterday afternoon  we all were at Alexanders football game. My ex-husband was there playing with the children as usual and apparently while he was playing with her he grabbed her wrong and A)broke something B)dislocated something or C)sprained something. I'm sitting here waiting for the radiologist to call me and tell me what the dealio is. Mileys got a splint on & she's also got this sling so she'll be out of school for a few days. I feel so bad because we're not sure if it's a growth plate thats broken or what the deal is...I hate just sitting and waiting to find out why she can't move her arm & why she's in such pain!


Aside from that, holy crap! I got a huge amount of messages/comments/responses in general on my last blog. I really wasn't expecting that many people to respond to what I was feeling. It was pretty interesting & comforting knowing that  a lot of people in this world feel the same way that I do about issues such as that one.

I really don't have much else to report; nothing going on currently in my brain :) Hope everyone has a wonderful Monday.

Family Secrets.

Every family has a secret.
The secrets the older ones know & keep from the younger ones from finding out.



I haven't been sleeping very well or thinking very well either. I've been trying to keep my mind busy with things that are positive. I feel like I'm having some kind of emotional relapse and it's really not a good deal.

Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults (including assaults on adults) occur to children ages 17 and under.

30-40% of victims are abused by a family member.

I don't understand why it's fair to me or anyone else for myself to be locked inside my head, afraid that one day that someone I love is going to be hurt like I was because I can't tell. I was the one shut out- I was the one abused- I was the one that had my childhood stole from me- but it's not my place to speak? 

Have you told your sons, your daughters, your brothers & your sisters about predators? Are you keeping them safe?

Nearly 50% of all victims of forcible sodomy, sexual assault with an object, and forcible fondling are children under 12.
An estimated 60% of teen first pregnancies are preceded by experiences of molestation, rape, or attempted rape. The average age of their offenders is 27 years.

I was wondering, are these statistics you want to mess with? ARE THESE STATISTICS THAT YOU WANT TO KEEP A SECRET?

Nearly 70% of child sex offenders have between 1 and 9 victims; at least 20% have 10 to 40 victims. (23)An average serial child molester may have as many as 400 victims in his lifetime.  http://www.darkness2light.org/knowabout/statistics_2.asp



You tell me to keep quiet?
Continue to help the offenders offend.

 

Weekend & Problems....Or possibly addictions....

Yesterday night I dyed J's hair red...It looked like a murder scene we had a lot of fun with it. My sister enjoyed watching us being silly. It's the first time J has ever dyed his hair so I'm glad I got to cristen him :)

So, I think I have this huge problem....It's not really a bad problem but it's like, I have this really hard time with buying people things...ESPECIALLY clothes. If I see something & it's pretty inexpensive I'm going to buy it. I absolutely love going to old navy when they have sales & I love finding brand new clothes with tags on them at yard sales. I found a lot of things with tags on them-name brand- for my sister & for the kids this weekend..Totally happy. J however, isn't that thrilled at my spending habits on the children. I really can't help it though! I think since I grew up with not having that many "in style" clothes I just want my kids to be able to feel like they never have to feel like they don't have anything to wear. Same thing for my brother & sisters...and I always am keeping my eyes out for my niece and nephew (Adam and Lizzy) especially Adam since he's a string bean and I found some awesome pants for him today. Totally happy about that.

Okay, so maybe I do have a problem..But my problem generally never comes to a total of over $50.00 so that's good...Right?!?! (Minus a few days ago when I spent almost 100 dollars on halloween costumes, but we have 5 kids to buy for)

On a more serious note, all of our bills are paid and this isn't something I do every day or every weekend. I do it at least once a month if that. I just know that when I find a good sale I can't pass it up, these kids are my life & I feel they deserve to be spoiled Knoxville brats.

This is pretty much a completely unrelated family blog.

These are just things that are inside of Momma's head right now & if it offends you, I can't really say that I'm sorry. So, I guess this is kind of my warning to you.

What is it with people? This is a serious question no doubt. I don't understand how one moment you are someones life & someones world and that could be broken in a blink of an eye. Relationships and friendships are basically what I'm speaking about. I'm not really speaking of anyone in particular either, seeing as I've had a lot of 'love losses' in my short time here on earth I've been reflecting on things as such.

It's like, hilarious to me how once you break up with someone or you aren't someones friend anymore they have to say something negative about you. Usually made-up stories or lies, when just a month ago or a year ago you were their rock...Perhaps even their life....and then within a blink of an eye you are shit. Automatically you are the fattest, ugliest, worst person they've ever met and they can't even believe they had a friendship/relationship with you. If your a male your penis is the smallest and if your a female you were the biggest whore. It doesn't matter what age bracket you are in, I've heard this from mouths of 30 somethings talking about ex wives, or friends, or someone elses ex wife.

Nine times out of 10 if I think something is important enough to say to someone else I've probably already said it to you, even if we aren't friends anymore, I still stick by my feelings as far as what kind of person I think you are.  Just because we're not together or friends, your wiener hasn't changed, you're probably still gorgeous as you were before. I have no reason to make up lies, I have no reason to continue to be bitter. I've probably already forgave you when you've just began hating me.

So continue, please. I'm the downgrade, I'm the fat one, I was terrible in bed, I'm a shitty Mother, a shitty wife & I never was a good friend. Just remember not too long ago I was the 360 of that, just because I played along with you, until one day you screwed it up. Whoever you are, that shit doesn't matter to me anymore, and most of you already know it. Some of you don't. Let's live our lives and think of the good times and forget the bad.

Halloween traditions

Halloween

So, today we got 4/5 costumes for the kids for Halloween. Super duper excited about that! We spent a small fortune but I wanted to make sure that we have what the kids want for Halloween....This happens to be my favorite Holiday so I'm always stoked for this time of year.

 I was thinking about traditions for us and the only one that I seem to carry on is that we have to decorate pumpkins. Either paint or carve it doesn't matter to me. Last year, I shared this with Dylan and Joseph & their Mom so I'm excited that I get to at least continue the tradition with the boys and the other 3 again this year.

Beliefs

I do not participate in any kind of "satanic" rituals or practice anything of witch craft...... as far as Halloween goes. It's just for fun for me and my family. We love to decorate in "spooky" things and dress up for some candy. It is F-U-N, and has no true meaning for me.

Check out this hilarious website I found, in which most of these things I was told and led to believe as a child. Which is why I wasn't allowed to trick or treat & when I was allowed to go to school (thats another subject) I either didn't attend school that day or I was the dork that sat out in the hallways reading a book.... because cookies, candy & the wizard of oz obviously is also celebratory for Halloween and will condemn me to hell as a child of 6.

http://www.exposingsatanism.org/halloween.htm

"If you are a professing Christian, you have no reason to be part of this holy day of Satan. Don't use the old cop out "well every body does it". No everybody is not doing it. God will hold you responsible for what you do this Halloween. Will you go ahead and participate in it? Or will you pass along the word and let someone know what the real meaning is."


Yes, god is clearly going to hold me responsible for getting my children free candy and playing dress up.I just really can't fathom God being so ridiculous especially with the way things are these days! This is the year 2010, half of the people in the USA probably doesn't even know the "history" behind Halloween. Condemnation to hell for ignorance? Eh, that's also another post I'd like to make sometime. But I'll try to keep on track.


I'd rather you look at the not so in-your-face & rather ridiculous version of the HISTORY of Halloween.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween

The previous website where this man (or woman?) had gave his views on Halloween, he does pretty much get the jist of  the history...But people, seriously, it's just that...HISTORY...This is 2010, if you don't want to celebrate this holiday by all means don't. But don't try & ruin it for others, especially your children. The orgin. of Halloween is *DARE I SAY IT AGAIN..HISTORY*, we made it our own & this crap doesn't exist anymore (the harmful spirits) unless you allow yourself to "provoke" them. Leave the meddling to those psychics, ghost hunters and whoever else that likes to meddle with evil/good spirits and let this holiday be fun.

Chores

So, I'm sure by now you can imagine what kind of chaos our house goes through after reading the latest blogs. Sometimes it's hard to keep up with the messes that are made. My first trimester was the worst time for our home. As I've said before, this is the roughest pregnancy and I had always been sick, tired and just plain blah. Recently I've found my energy button that I had and I've been able to keep up with dishes and other things! Woohoo :)

I've decided that Alexander is old enough to get paid for doing chores. We're not really talking about big bucks here, just $5.00 a week for doing a chore Mon-Fri. I've set up a daily chore chart on our dry-erase (god send) calender under the notes so he can look at it daily and remind himself that certain things need to be done.

As far as the younger ones go, that's still a work in progress. Getting 3 three year olds to do ANYTHING you tell them to do is a work in progress......It will get better with time (I try to chant to myself quietly daily...haha)

That's all I have to blab about for this afternoon...I'm waiting for the nice storms to roll in and cool this crappy hot day down.

Adults who act like children.

More often than not, I have to deal with petty little things that certain people do and say and it truly makes me wonder...How do you live your life as an adult with the kind of immature mindset that you have?

I have recently discovered the kill them with kindness way of life, because honestly I can't stand to highly (very highly) dislike someone(s) and be uncomfortable every time I hear or have to interact with people. I don't really feel like living my life with a huge scowl on my face...Even if sometimes on the inside I am saying sarcastic comment after comment with my quick wit. *wink*

But you know when it's a constant battle to try to ignore certain petty things, I just really weighs on me and sometimes I really just need to get it out. I can not and probably won't ever understand the way some people are and why they are the way they are. But the only thing that I can remember is that I am better than that. I've never believed I was better than anyone & I still don't particularly think that way...But I know that I am better than how they are because I know when it's time to play and act silly while being a Mother & a wife...and it's apparent to me that others seem to lack that ability.

What makes a good parent?

All too often you see judgmental people. People who are labeled as "freaks" for 'looking different.' Adults that also happen to be parents usually are judged more often than not for their appearances.

What makes a good parent? I would think that ones parenting abilities should not be judged on the color of their skin, the way they speak, color of their hair, or tattoos on their arms. That a good parent is one who makes sure their children are taken care of; food, clothing, and shelter. Not only those material things, but also parents who show affection to their children & let them know often that they are loved. I was looking online for examples from forums and what not on what certain parents think what "makes a good parent" and I got some of the following examples:

"...expresses warmth love and affection for the child, so the child can internalize it. they do not ignore the child, say mean things to the child, tease the child, withdraw love for bad reasons...

...praises and encourages the child. picks the good focuses on strengths, helps overcome weaknesses. does not criticize the child or put the child up to certain standards."

"Anyone can give a child food, shelter and clothes. A good parent will also supply a child with motivation (a reason to do), encouragement (morale support), discipline (non-abusive), lead by example (not, do as I say not as I do), and will spend time with their kids outside (this is a good way to connect). These are just a few opinions."http://www.uncommonforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=30713


Thus far, I haven't found anything mentioning how a 'good parent' should appear. The photo above for those who may be reading my blog that I do not know, is myself. It looks somewhat different than my profile photo. My tattoos are covered & the only piercing I think you can see is my nose. I decided to dye some of my hair blue today, as I do around this time of the year every year. I like it, it defines me. Edgy, extravagant, & fun. 

What do you think about today's blog?

Weekender Blah Blah Blah's

I decided to wear one of my "tighter" shirts yesterday evening and show my somewhat pregnant belly. It's about 50% fat and 50% pregnancy right now! (haha) and I would like to mention I have not gained a thing at 17 weeks and 3 days. I'm very ready for different aches & pains than I have now.

Ahhhh, well it's the weekend. Time for me to sit back, relax, and just enjoy it. But I've actually spent most of the time complaining how bored I am & how I want to go to something.

This morning my husband was going to go to his families cabin to do some things but the lovely storm made it so that wouldn't be happening. It also kept me inside all morning, so I couldn't do anything but sit there and watch some Man vs. Food and take a little cat nap.

You would think that I would be enjoying this "R&R" but I really just miss all of the kids & all of the chaos even though I'm dying for it by our Friday. I'm just so hard to please aren't I?

I will breifly get to see half of the clan this afternoon when I pick Alexander up. Tonight is "Grandparents Night" at his school & so my Mom & Stella are going to play a little bingo and have some fun.

Hmmm....what else can I go on about my weekend....Oh yes, JJ & I went to see 'Devil' last night & we met up with his sister & her Mike/man friend /person/guy thing..... :) I wasn't really looking forward to seeing this movie at all. I thought it looked stupid & like your typical movie now days..But it ACTUALLY had a good message to it and it was a bit more religious than I was expecting. Not really on the gory scale, not really on the scary scale either. So I'd give it a 7/10 but I'd tell you that you probably could wait until it came out instead of spending $8.00 per ticket.

Speaking of $8.00 per ticket I know some of my friends that live in big cities are thinking (BIG DEAL!) But seriously?! You've got an expensive date on your hands right there. $16.00 for 2 tickets and of course you have to get pop corn and a drink! The last time we got pop corn we got 2 drinks and a small popcorn that was only like, a dollar LESS than the huge one. So you might as well spend your $16.50 on it! So after a whopping $32.50 you had better hope that movie was worth it. /whattheheckmovietheatrerant

..and this concludes my weekender blah blah blah :)

This, that, & the other!

Just a few things to ramble about:
 Ramble numero uno: I am pretty lucky to have all 5 children but when my weekend comes to have no children I'm pretty damn relieved. I get a break every other weekend. Joey & Dylan go to their Mothers & Alexander, Aiden, & Miley go to Patricks house. By Sunday I am always missing them all ,but I really do enjoy the break. Of course I'd better enjoy it while I can because soon we will have "ours" all the time!

 Ramble numero dos: Last night while my husband & I were laying in bed we were talking(like we do frequently when it's nice and quiet) about how life is and how everything panned out. We were talking about marriage, kids, & our unborn baby. How things went so very fast but so very right. I sometimes sit and think and sometimes still 'can't believe' I'm having another child. It hasn't been too long since I've taken care of tiny babies but I'm so terrified that I have somehow forgotten how to do it! While that's probably really unreasonable It's a serious fear of mine! 

Ramble numero tres:  A friend of mine has been reading this book called parenting with love & logic from birth to 6 years. I read some of the examples online last night from this book because I was curious about it...It seems like something I want to purchase and try. 

Last night I kind of tried the technique on the kids when it came to that fun time called bed time. My eldest son, Alexander, we really don't have a hard time with. He whines a little bit when it comes to bedtime but not too bad. It's the three 3 year old's that are the worst. So after we discovered that the TV in the children's rooms are ruined, which by the way we only discovered while they all were panicking that they couldn't watch Toy Story and running around like they were about to cease to exist......We figured out that one of the children had poured an entire bottle of cleaner into the TV. I asked who had done it, and Miley said Joey did it. So, I asked Joey if he had done it and he had said he did and became very upset.


I was very angry by that point but I had decided to try something different. I told Joseph, Aiden, & Miley that they have 2 choices. They can either go to bed when I tell them to go to bed from now on or they can choose not to listen & J and I will not be getting them another TV for their rooms. They ignored me & chose the first option at first & when I said fine, no TV then, they finally went upstairs without hardly any problems.




It seems like these days physical punishment does nothing, screaming is not only unhealthy but it also does absolutely nothing and time out is something you can't use frequently before it becomes routine, so I HAVE to try something different before I drive myself insane. I don't think this technique will work with all situations but I do think it will work with most situations. All I know is, I'm very open to new suggestions & I am ready to get this book & try to work things out around here.

Mornings

THE MORNING

Never have I ever been a morning person. You could probably ask anyone who knows me well enough to know that I absolutely loath the mornings! Do you know what I hate most now about the mornings? The fact that I can't drink COFFEE!!!!! With my lovely kidneys being in the condition they are in...annnddd the fact that I am pregnant.....Coffee is pretty much OUT of the question. Even a damn mountain dew would do but nope, "Soda is a treat now."

Okay, back to what I was wanting to talk about in the first place before my rant about the lack of caffeine in my life....Around here we have a night routine like I posted previously, but we also have a morning routine. Our morning routine needs a little bit of tweaking because it's pretty much lacking in organization. To save myself some time I get all of the kids clothes ready the night before. Does anyone have sock trolls? We have sock trolls around here. I'll spend at least an HOUR trying to find socks for the kids. That's what I always miss about summer...SANDLES!

Anyway, our motivation(or lack there of):  Not one person in our home is motivated to get dressed or make sure they have what they need for school (back packs..bags..etc) So we're constantly searching for these things minutes before we need to leave. So in return I'm stressing the heck out, my husband is stressing the heck out, and I'm sure the kids are thinking it's pretty comical to see two people running around hollering..WHERES THIS...HAVE YOU FOUND THAT?????

Ok so you are probably thinking, well why don't you just lay everything out like you do the clothes? Yeah that sounds great and all but I already do a lot the night before! I try not to do a system overload here! Refer to previous discussion!

I think it will always be like this though, I think every large family has hectic mornings. I enjoy the chaos some days..Other days I could do without.

How important are extra curricular activies to you?

"extras"
there are a lot of things for kids to do after school these days. anywhere between art club to football. in our family we've discussed that we feel it's important that there are things for the kids to do other than sitting and watching tv & playing video games.

My ex husband(patrick) is a huge sports fanatic, so he's always thinking of new things for Alexander, Aiden, & Miley to be in.My eldest son, Alexander, played soccer for 2 years and he decided he didn't want to play anymore so this year we're doing flag football.

Alex was going to do boy scouts this year but we weren't able to make the meeting so i promised him that we would make it this year.

my husband and i have discussed getting the younger kids into some kind of sport this coming spring & we decided that we could start them into doing something i'm familiar with (soccer) so we're considering signing the 3 younger ones up. the only conflict with that is we have alternating weekends with the other parents. However, patrick has no problem taking them to their games on the weekend that he has them. in john & i's divorce both parties have to agree on things such as this! i don't think it should be a problem though. i don't think anyone of us would ever want to keep the children out of something that the kids seem interested in.

miley has said "sometimes that she would like to do cheer leading." i'm not sure about that part but something that is associated with that is gymnastics which I'm most defiantly thinking about. i always wanted to do that as a little girl and in our family we weren't  able to afford the lessons.

the challenge that i feel that we will face as the kids get older is who is going to want to do what and when. i have a feeling that we're going to be constantly running. whether it's because one is doing art club, choir, foot ball, so on and so forth...I'm almost positive we'll have conflicting schedules. just another joy in being a large family. imagine how it's going to be with graduation :)

Pregnancy

The photo to the left is a photograph of our what it seems to be penguin! It's actually the fetus with the yolk sac still attached :) That was taken when I was just 2 months pregnant. Right now I will be 17 weeks on Wednesday so I'm almost a little over 4 months pregnant.

We are seriously so excited to find out what we are having which will be in about 3 1/2 weeks. Myself, my husband & our families are really hoping for a girl. Only because there are so many boys already! I'm sure that if we get blessed with another little boy everyone will be equally as happy. But we're still rooting for pink!

Today John & I went to Wal*Mart and they were having this sale on baby clothes for summer. So we bought 1 super cute pink outfit (that J picked out himself) and picked out a super cute blue outfit. So I figure either way we don't lose.

This pregnancy has been rough
Out of the 2 previous pregnancies this one is probably the worst. I am tired all of the time. I'm also very sick all the time, even in the 2nd trimester. I think I've puked more now than with the 1st trimester! I was hospitalized for 2 1/2 days because I've always had some craptastic problems with Kidney stones. This time I passed a stone on my own & I also had a very sever kidney infection. So I wasn't eating or drinking and I was in pain constantly. So after getting my fever down and loading me up with antibiotics I was able to go home. I guess I can't blame the pregnancy for the kidney problems, but since I've had stones before the kidney infections are more likely to happen while pregnant AND taking prenatal vitamins I've found out from my urologist are actually HURTING me than doing GOOD! Taking the P Vitamins could actually make me MORE prone to getting stones.


But this is all worth it
In the end I will have one of the most beautiful babies in the world. The very last child J or I will ever have. We have decided that I am going to get my tubes tied and so it makes this pregnancy even more special!

 

Bed time

Bedtime: My favorite time.

Okay so I've got a little time before I take shower (finally) to write something that I thought some of you may be interested in & I also would like to hear your bed time routines with your children (either on here or facebook!)

Step 1: Bath
 Giving 5 kids a bath is kind of crazy especially when they all want to take one first....I wish we had 2 bathrooms!

Step 2: Kisses, hugs, & stalling.
After about the 5,000th kiss for each kid & 10 millionth hug you can guess that SOMEONE has an excuse. My foot hurts, I got hurt, they hit me, I need a drink....& the list goes on...The famous quote of the night is always....Get your butt back upstairs NOW or I will take away ______!


Step 3: Repeat step 2 for about 10-20 minutes
It's true. I know every single child stalls! I think our kids have got it down to an art if you will!

Last but not least Step 4: Enjoy the peace and quiet
It finally happened. They are asleep. Their tiny angelic faces are at rest for real this time. They aren't hiding anything or getting into anything. They are in dreamland and SOON we will be too....G'night!

Trying not to "pick favorites"

My husband and I have had a recent discussion on "favorites."

I had been feeling pretty bitter lately about how he gives my "step" son, Joey, special treatment. By the way, I probably wont use the word "step" in any of my blogs after this. I hate using that word and anyone who is probably reading this already knows that Joseph & Dylan are my "step" children. SO! back to the issue at hand: favorites!

I say that he favors Joey out of all of the children & he says that he does not. Although, he has admitted to being more sensitive when it comes to him because he has had such a rough past. My husband, John, had a very messy divorce & still continues to battle is ex-wife regularly. So of course, it effects Joseph & Dylan. More so Joey. I can most definitely understand that issue, but meanwhile there are things that are completely unrelated that he may get "babied" for.

Then we got onto the topic of how I treat my first born son, Alexander, who is six years old. My husband says that I baby him more than I do the others & of course I say I do not. I let Alex get away with a lot more than I do the others, it has been said!

So we took the time to reflect on how we treat our kids and we treat them in different ways. So actually, we're "babying" ALL of the children. Alexander gets "special treatment" because he's the oldest, Joey gets "special treatment" because he is the most sensitive, Aiden gets "special treatment" because he doesn't catch on as fast as the others, Miley gets "special treatment" because she's the only girl & Dylan gets "special treatment" because he is the baby.

Sometimes it's really hard to maintain a blended family especially when there are so many of us! I get very ticked off and so does my husband at times. But with us, the good outweighs the bad and THAT is what keeps us going.