Thursday, August 29, 2013

I stopped caring what people think!

SO this year I've decided I'm going to take a stand and not back out of doing the things I want to do. I will not let people intimidate me or make me feel like I don't belong. I also learned that I need to give people a chance here in Knoxville instead of automatically thinking that everyone that lives here is a snob.

I've lived here since January 2010 and belonged to this community, but never really felt like I belong.

Like I said in the beginning of this blog, I set a goal to be more involved and make new friends. Especially with the Moms in my town. When I signed up to be room Mom last year, I went to the meeting and signed up for the parties... and the only time anyone ever called me is because someone else backed out of doing something. But of course my snacks and drinks were always welcome, but not my physical participation.  When I signed up I wanted to try to not only do really fun things for our childrens holiday parties but I also wanted to try to make friends. I always walk up to the school with my boys and everyone else around me are talking to each other. Those are just some examples of my experience so far here.

So I've started finding a few people that seem friendly and start talking to them. I got on the conversation of house holds with this very friendly woman that told me she's jealous that we have so many kids. She wants eight, but has four. Very family oriented and a good person to hold a conversation to. I've also met another girl that we found common ground about our tattoos, she too felt like she was awkward because of them.

I also have been trying to talk to other parents at sports events and even offered to help the coach at a ball game this year! Which was totally huge for me!

As much as I have a big mouth and I tend to be confrontational, I do have a soft side of me that no one sees. Everyone always expects me to be the strong one that won't take anyone's shit, but I do strive to ' fit in' where I'm from by not changing and conform to the perfect hair, nice bod, seemingly super moms. I love my crazy hair, tattoos, silly sense of humor & I need to give other people a chance too.

SOOOO my goal is to make sure that when I sign up for room Mom, make sure I'm invited to all and any meetings, talk to everyone I see whether they look friendly or not, and just be confident at what kind of Mother and Wife I am!

Monday, August 19, 2013

It's not always roses and sunshine.

I haven't written in so long! I guess that's not such a bad thing. I miss blogging!

Today I was lost in my thoughts while I was doing dishes. I was thinking about this new school year that will be starting this week for our children, and I was thinking about Alexander and how young he was when Jay & I decided to move into together.

Alexander was in Kindergarten and is now going into the fourth grade, Joey, Miley, & Aiden will be in 1st, & Dylan will be on his 2nd year of pre-k. Judging by where we were & where we are now, is something I feel so blessed to be a part of and that would be being a Mother of a blended family!

But you know, I just wanted to point out despite me blasting my love for family on facebook & my blogs and to everything that lives.... (LOL).....I do have hardships. I do have things that I have to deal with on a daily basis that I constantly think about and they're things that I simply cannot control. I'm going to write for once about the negative.

The biggest downside of being a Mother to a blended child family, is dealing with "the others." Let's face it, it can get down right ugly sometimes, and sometimes for absolutely no reason at all. I have my struggles lately as to where I don't know why the others do some of the things they do. I don't mean for this to be a bashing blog, but this is just the genuine truth of my life. The part of our lives that will always exists whether we like it or not!

Which brings me to my next points and this is some very important advice to people who are in a blended family or will be marrying someone with children:

PICK YOUR BATTLES:  What I've learned is that there should be as little as possible contact with the other parent. Only things about the kids. Seriously. Pick your battles, if you hear that your ex husband/wife has been talking badly about you, just suck it up. THEY'RE YOUR EX FOR A REASON! Once you two split their opinion of you is nothing but that, an opinion. You need to learn to say, "who cares?"

DO NOT NIT PICK: Please, for the love of God, do not nit pick. Okay so little Johnny wasn't wearing socks that fit him. Throw the fucking pair away, and suck it up. It's not worth getting into an hour argument over some socks. Should you put your child in a pair of socks that fit, yes. But it doesn't mean it's worth fighting over, that kind of goes in with pick your battles.

and that's the end of that.

I seriously believe that I am so much more of a calm person when I practice those two key pieces of advice up there. I am not perfect and do go off into a rant sometimes, but usually I keep it pretty calm.

Now that we're done with that let's move on to the other thing the most important thing of all!

Remember to always focus on them. Being a MOTHER or FATHER should be about what you can do to make sure your children are going to have a safe and happy life. ...That they will have an open mind and be well behaved. Live your happy life with your amazing children, and don't worry about anything else.

Okay! I'm seriously done now, thank you for reading my ramblings.