Saturday, September 29, 2012

What would you do?

Yesterday after picking up the children from school, on our way home Joe says to me "I have a surprise for you and you are going to LOVE IT!"

When we got home I didn't know what to expect because my guy Joe tends to have surprises that are slimey, scratchy or stinky.  We all got setteled in and he shows me this book about spiders. I read this book and the drawings and colors and I say to him "Job well done! But did you cut this book out yourself?" as I hold the book up in the air to examin it, he says to me, "yes! and that is the surprise, I knew you would LOVE how I cut this book, and you can have it."

To most it would just be some paper that the kids cut out at school and learned about spiders. But for me it was a bonding moment with my step-son Joey. The words "step" always sends shivers down my spine. So for those who know me, a bonding moment with my son, Joey.

The reason why I feel this way is because he made it that morning at school and all day he had to have thought about how proud I would be of his careful cutting skills. The fact that he actually cares how much I am proud of him means that he loves me. The fact that I know for a fact that he loves me makes my heart well up and almost makes me feel like I could cry.

 One may ask why after almost three years of caring for a boy every single day, that just now I am feeling this? The answer is: I am not just now feeling love. I get I love yous, photographs, presents, and other things from this boy. He is a loving boy. I know he loves his Father the most and no one can ever compare to him. I know that he also loves his Mother and I know that he loves me. But when you see this small boy of five that you have known all of his life  show signs of maturity, to love AND care, and feel that feeling of accomplisment it makes you well up. It lets me know that he really truely thinks the world of me. Whatever anyone has ever said to him about his Father and I, none of that matters because not only does he care what we think of him he cares what we FEEL. To me that is the ultimate love. I am glad to have that relationship with him because the only other person he has ever shown that kind of care and love for his is Father, who everyone knows is Joey's world. Joey may not ever show that kind of care again, but I will always remember that moment on September 28th after school, where Joey age five wanted me to be proud of his accomplishment of cutting his book about spiders.

Now, onto my point of why I am writing.

A few days ago while at work, I believe I was changing Gavins diaper, an Amber Alert interuppted the TV program Grandma B was watching. They were warning everyone that a 3 week old baby girl had been kidnapped out of  Toulon, which is not very far from where I work or reside. The thought of this little baby being kidnapped made my heart drop and my stomach hurt. I told my Mother in Law that I prayed to God that this infant would have been stolen by someone who would take care of her, not harm her, as odd as that may sound to some of you.

The overwheleming amount of facebook amber alert posts started and I believe that everyone all over was looking, waiting, hoping, that this infant girl Mia was okay.

As the story unravled it was found that a woman in Yellow sweatpants was parked next to the girl who was at the post office with two of her children. My first thought is, why would you not take your children into the post office? Surely it would have only taken a minute? Some say that maybe she ran inside because it was too cold to take the children out a lot. Then you shouldn't have taken your child at all. Why would one take a newborn but not a 10 month old? She then couldn't provide what the woman looked like, just what kind of pants she had on and what color her car was and what was in the back seat of the car.

Fast forwarding to later on it had been said the Mother had been arrested. I was glad because I felt that no trip to the post office was that important to knowingly leave your children in the car. The difference between the parents who forgot and the parents who know is the fact that the parents who know are knowingly putting their children in danger and the parents who honestly had forgotten they wouldn't have ever ever ever wanted or think about leaving their children in the car. Even though they did.

Anyway, later on I had this feeling that this girl since having gotten pregnant so quickly after having one child I felt that she possibly could have had post partum depression. Not that I found that should be used as an excuse to get out of prison but I felt that it is an EXCUSE to recieve HELP.

A lot of people talk a lot of smack about what they would or wouldn't do. A lot of people say that they should stick her in the chair and fry her. A lot of people are just so quick to want to take the life of someone, which is sick actually if you think about it. Those are the people you should watch out for.

So,The infant was found in a ditch in the country. The fact that she was found was actually a huge relief off of my shoulders and the fact that her mother did it made me feel some kind of relief as morbid as that may sound, because I was thinking of this crazy woman in ugly sweat pants snatching babies to live with her and her other twelve children in the woods of Illinois!!!

When you have post partum depression you are simply crazy. You know you are crazy and so many women do not go get help for it because everyone is always so close to point the finger and tell them that they are nuts and shouldn't have children. But the fact of the matter is: She didn't ditch both of her children. which leads me to believe this baby could be colicky? Maybe she just couldn't handle it. The small part of me believes that she loved her child. She did not kill her and and she left her in the country only to know that the farmers are picking. Someone would have found her. I think this was her cry for help, but in the wrong way. PPD makes you do awful things, again, not an excuse to stay ouf of prison.

What would you do? What wouldn't you do? None of you know. You can say you know, but you really do not know. Pray to God you will never know what it feels like to be that low, to be that sick, to have thousands of people hate you because of what you have done.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Master Mom

 I didn't go to work for very long to day because the children had SIP day at school. I offered to take my best friend Jenny's son home today so she could get some much needed things done.  I got a nice pot roast in the crock pot and cleaned up a little and now I am relaxing. Since their wasn't much work to be done at work (it's near the end of the season) Jay was able to come home a bit later and help me with the kids. Right now he has taken Aiden and Dylan out on a misson  to find some nice dinning room flooring.

Family Stress:

As usual around this time of year Jay and I get stressed out. We are trying to save our pennies so we can get thru the month of October. Since my husband has to pay maintenance in the form of child support (lol) to his ex wife and he hardly gets a "base pay" check anyway it makes it rough.( Oct-April Jay and I are going on unemployment since our work is seasonal) But we always get through it. This year seems to be a little different since we have taken on a lot of home improvements (Tuck pointing the house, re-doing the plumbing/flooring, just to name a few) we have a five year plan for our home in what we would like to do for it and it just seems like our goals aren't being met as fast as we had planned. He and I have been together going on four years in December and lived together almost over two and a half years and we've really wanted to do a lot more with the house than we have. SO besides money problems and home improvement quotas not being met we have been a little bit on the assy side to each other.

It felt really nice today when he just grabbed my face really hard and planted one on me. He told me everything was going to be okay. That really made me smile, because I could feel that spark of romance that is there but is just so buried in stress! I also felt at peace. I really felt like everything was just going to work out and be okay. I know that it always is okay. I guess the stressors of having such a big family are finally really really settling in. We are doing the things we've always wanted to do and have the things we've always wanted to have which also needs to be in with being on top of our bills and being the ones to get whatever the kids need at all times.


Tomorrow I have two games at the same time, Grandparents day, two birthday parties, and need to do my sisters hair for homecoming! I think I will be turning in a bit early tonight!

Well, the husband is calling me from LOWE'S about flooring so I shall go.

Mrs. Roy

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

It was like having a newborn again.

Now that I have downed an entire monster zero, cleaned 90% of my house (dishes beware) now I am sitting down and trying to keep awake and keep going...........I decided to write a blog because I have not in quite sometime in this neck of the woods. Sorry for anything that might not make sense or any typos you might come to :P

I've got some PBS show on TV, Joey running around with a NERO sword in his underwear with a toy drill in the side pretending to kill zombies...A baby that is sick (hence the sleep dep.) and all of the rest of the kids are doing their own thing. I kind of feel like I am on vacation since nothing is going on at the moment HAHA!

So anyway, last night about 11pm I heard Gavin in the other room with his barking cough. Then struggling to breath. I woke up, checked his temp, gave him some meds, and crawled back into bed. Barking coughs later, I brought him into bed with me laying on my chest. I turned on a hot shower at some point I am not sure what time so we could get some steam going on. Went back to bed, and after Tossing and turning and being restless I decided to let my husband alone and go downstairs. After being downstairs and finding myself getting frustraited I decided to call the hubby on the phone and tell him I need him to come downstairs with the baby so I can at least get an hours worth of sleep.

He was irritated as much as I was all day long. I took Gavin to the doctor and he has croup which sounds terrible itself. I remember when Alexander had gotten croup before I obviously was a new Mom and I really thought he was going to have to be hospitalized! I think the only other child besides Gavin and Alexander that I've had to do that with is Dylan. When Dylan was about 10/11 months old I remember staying up all night with him when he was sick because he had that icky barky cough and then I do recall maybe last year he may have started to get that cough but John and I caught that pretty quickly.

Anyway, enough of this sickness stuff. I wanted to let you know that I am having such a fun time with these kids in school. They are growing and learning and it's just so amazing to me how well they are doing. Well, most of them.

Aiden is struggling a little bit more than I would have liked him to. I have been working on him a lot more than I work with the others simply because he is just not on the same leval as Joey or Miley. He is all over the place half of the time and he doesn't seem to remember things that I have already went with him. Although a praise is: is writing is improving. He is forming his letters right and he is grasping on to certain site words now which a week ago he was not even doing.

Joseph is my little reader, which I wouldn't have suspected any differently. He and Alexander are best friends and Alexander is always constantly reading. I teach him his pop corn words every night (site words) and he knows them all. I'm far too impressed with how he grasps things and I am very glad that he got his quick learning from his Father!

Alexander, as always, is doing fantastic in school. He is doing something called RTI and he can't stop talking about it. He got a "caught being good" card today in school. One of his buddies named Kacie wanted to be a part that he was in this play they are doing in RTI, and he gave her his part even though he wanted it, too. What a gentlemen :)

Miley is on par with everything she is supposed to be doing. She seems to be more concerned with social status at school though, which terrifies me because this is Knoxville. Kids are harsh everywhere but when you live in a small town like this you tend to have a bit more harshness twords one another. We shall see.

Dylan is doing very well too. He is getting compliments on how well he does things and I am always getting good feedback when I ask how he has done for the day. We have just recently learned how to set a table :) That is one of his "extra work" things that he doesn't have to do but we choose to do because it's good for him :)

Aside from all of this updates from the children everything is going rather well. My husband had just had to re do our plumbing. We had a HUGE problem where tree roots were growing into our plumbing. We didn't have proper plumbing for a day or two and were going to the restroom/taking baths at relatives homes. I was so glad when we didn't have to do that anymore. You NEVER know what you have until it is gone, let me tell you. My husband deserves a huge award for being able to pull off a six thousand dollar job (professionally done) for just about 300 dollars. The plus side is I got a new bathroom floor out of it ;)

Well y'all this is all I have for now and I thank you all for reading and I hope that you have a fantastic rest of the week!


Mrs. Roy