Saturday, July 16, 2011

What is love?

I asked my kids what love meant and got some interesting answers :)

I told Alex I was going to ask him a question and he said.."Is it going to be hard?" haha.

Alexander is 7 years old.

What is love?:
Alex:When people do stuff together. Like you & John.

What kind of stuff?:
Alex:When you go to the zoo with us, and swimming. That means love when you take us places.

Mileys(age 4) take on love:

What is love?
Miley: Um, when people kiss *alex chimes in* Ew!
Miley:Um, when people marry each other.

What does it mean when I say "I love you?"
Miley: It means you miss me

Josephs(who is 4) answer:
What is love?
Joseph: I think I love ants, but no, because they crawl all over me and bite me.
Do you love anything or anyone else:
Joseph:Spiderman, You Mommy, and Gavin, and my Dad, and Megan, David,Emma, and Miley, and Aiden, and Alex.

Aidens(who is 4) answer:

What is love?
Aiden: Um, when I go to school.

What do you think love means?
Aiden: When we go to Grandma Bessies

Dylans(who is 2) answer:
What is love?
Dylan:  (dylan hugged me when I asked him the question)
Thank you Dylan, I love you too. What is love?
Dylan: Cheese. (hahaha)

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The kids have started some not-so-wonderful things.

So for about a month now my step-son, Joseph, has learned the "art" of lying. He lies about a lot of silly things but a lot of things that he says are extreme and could quite possibly get someone in trouble. For instance, when he has done something wrong, he says that he didn't do it. Even if you saw him do it, he says he didn't, or someone else did it first...Etc.

Another example, today he came home from his Mothers house & he jumped right on the computer. I asked him if he had asked his Dad if he could get on the computer (as we do not let the kids on the computer without asking, ever, because we need to know what they are doing on the computer at all times. Especially on the internet.) Mind you, Joey is 4 years old. He is a very smart & persuasive four year old and he promised me that his Dad said it was OK. So, I asked John if he said it was OK that Joey got on the computer. He said no, he didn't. So I asked Joey why he lied to me. He said he didn't lie to me his Dad said that he could get on the computer. J told him that he did not even ask to get on the computer, so no, he did not. Of course that end resulted in him throwing a fit and we sent him to his room.

Another instance today with my daughter Miley, who is also 4 years old: I asked her why she took something from Dylan and she said that she did not. That "Dylan gave it to her." While I watched Dylan set his toy down for one moment and she picked it up and said that he set it down and now it's hers. So I asked her again, she gave me the same answer, and got sent to her room for lying.

Both instances I've tried to explain to the two that lying is NOT cool in this house. That we would rather you tell the truth, because then, you will get lesser to no punishment for telling THE TRUTH.

Joseph's lying has gotten extremely out of hand and I'm not sure what to do about it.

Joey has also gotten more aggressive....Today he punched Miley in the mouth, made her bleed, because he was mad that she fell asleep....I told him since Miley fell asleep it's bed time anyway, it's time for bed. He was playing his video game (after we had a little conversation about lying) and he was mad that he had to get off. I told J about it because I could not even begin to express how ticked off I was that I witnessed that. Where have my sweet kids gone this summer? I can't wait until school starts again because I am sick of the disrespect to not only myself & my husband, but the disrespect the kids are showing towards each other.

I've read a few parenting articles online, that kind of helped. They have basically said that pre-school aged children do usually start to lie at that age. Which, as one of my examples showed, this would be true. But the other types of lies that go on around here have nothing to do with what is stated below.

*Lies to get something they want or to avoid something they don't want - Preschoolers tell these types of lies for the same reasons that adults do, but they often don't see anything wrong with telling a lie to gain a result they want. When children this age tell these types of lies, parents should try not to overreact. Instead, they should point out to their children that it is wrong to lie, and that it is important to tell the truth
We had just gotten over a huge thing not to long ago- and that was the biting. All of the kids (minus alex and gavin wasn't born) were biting. We tried EVERYTHING. Finally, after consulting the pediatrician, he said just simply smack their hands. Low and behold it worked. However, Dylan has started biting again, but I think it's for a different reason. When he was biting before he bit in self defensive against his brothers and sister. Now he is biting out of rage, and once more, we are going to have to deal with this. It seems like everything is a vicious cycle.

I understand that some of it is typical brother-brother or brother-sister feuds but some of it really is not. A lot of words are being exchanged, a lot of physical violence is happening and I am NOT enjoying it at all. I really would like to ask for help of any parent that has any advice at all.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

I know you love me just the way I am.

...Why can't I love me just the way I am?

I have seriously lost all of my motivation..Either that or someone stole it from me. I am going no where fast with my weight loss anymore. I'm stuck at that 230 (obviously 4 lbs smaller than that photo..which..jumps up and down 230. 234. 230. 234.) mark and I wanted to be way smaller by now! I started to walk and after I jacked up 10 lbs for no reason I quit walking, and there it was, I lost that 10 lbs again by NOT walking. Not even sure how that works, at all.

My friend Jessamyn is losing weight like crazy and she has the motivation and determination that I want and for whatever reason, I can't find it. I make excuses on why I can't do this or that or why I could never do that. (that is why I am still fat) and then I get down, depressed, hate myself, etc.

Ever since I started trying different clothes at the clothing stores and having serious mental break downs I think that is where I left my self worth. I figure to myself, if I can't look good now, I will never look good. I don't know where my attitude came from and I wish that I could LOSE that and BRING BACK my motivation. It pretty much kills me whenever my husband picks out these sexy little numbers to go out in and either A) It doesn't fit. B) It fits, but I look like a sausage...In other words..Just because it fits doesn't mean you should wear it!

I never actually listened to a song that was recommended to me before, so I listened to it today, and it made me cry a little. Haha. :) I'm sure that most of you have heard it before. I never had.

"Fuckin' Perfect"

Made a wrong turn once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good'
It didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fucking perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me

You're so mean when you talk
About yourself. You were wrong.
Change the voices in your head
Make them like you instead.

So complicated,
Look happy, You'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
It's enough, I've done all I could think of
Chased down all my demons
I've seen you do the same
(ohh ohhhhhhh)

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fucking perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me

The whole world's scared, so I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in line and we try try try but we try too hard
And it's a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair
Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that, why do I do that (why do I do that)?

Pretty, pretty, pretty

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fucking perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing than you're fucking perfect to me
(you're perfect, you're perfect)
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me