Tuesday, May 3, 2011

What's important and what's not so important

So today I have work off. I actually am not rejoicing because I hate not going to work...Not only because it's completely boring at home, but because I am in the middle of trying to learn our computer system (wich thus far has not been successful) and when I am not there it seems like I missed out on a lot in a matter of 1 working day. Pink eye is running rampant here and it's pretty cruddy. First Joseph had pink eye last week, then Miley, then my sister, then myself...Let's hope it stops here. I have been washing my hands so much today that they are already getting dried out!

Alright well yesterday I made a BIG decision on my part. I finished up the tattoo on my arm that has Alex, Aiden, Miley on it. I wanted to add Gavin (which I did of course) and I had ended up making the decision to put Joseph and Dylans initials onto my arm. I hope that when they grow older they do not get offended or seem to think I didn't think they were as important to put their actual names on my arm, but I did 'just initials' for a reason.

Despite what anyone thinks I know that I am just the Step Mom. Despite anyone's opinions of me or the actual life-giver of the boys (J and M)..... I know that my role may not seem as important...But it really is. Anyway, I was rolling the idea around in my head to get the boys initials on my arm and I ultimately left the decision up to my husband. I was unsure if it would be okay, I was unsure if was appropriate, I was just unsure. I knew that a few people (not a lot, surprisingly) were against J and I getting our names with the infinity symbol, because of superstitions or pessimistic attitudes, or whatever. But I then realized for one, I already have J's name on my arm. If we were to get a divorce (which is pretty freakin' unlikely) I'm already screwed because I have J's name on my arm (haha :P) and not only that..I have been around for a long while. I have been there since Dylan was born, not  in the step-mother role, and I have been around since Joseph was 1 with the same circumstance as Dylan. I loved them then, and I love them now.

So I feel that my decision is okay. I know that their design isn't as flamboyant as the other children's but I felt that the suddelness of the tattoo is just as important as the names with the designs. No matter what happens in life I will love them no matter what. If for some ungodly reason J and I aren't together anymore I know that I will lose my title that I hold close to my heart but I wont lose the love I have for them. The kind of love I have for my very own 'blood' children.

Mom, Step Mom, and Wife <3

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