Monday, May 23, 2011

Here's the story of a lovely lady
Who was bringing up two boys and girl,
All of them had hair of gold, like their mother,
The youngest one in curls.

Here's the story of a man named JJ,
Who was busy with two boys of his own,
They were three men, living all together,
Yet they were all alone.

Till the one day when the lady met this fellow
And they knew it was much more than a hunch,
That this group would somehow form a family.
That's the way we all became the JJ bunch!

haha... Okay so I knew I said I wasn't going to write anymore but that really just popped into my head. Most days things are really smooth around here with our system we have going on. But there are other days when I really feel like I am in a lose/lose situation. It's nothing that anyone does it just seems like I can't quite keep up with what I need to do or who I need to be as a wife and a Mother.

I always wonder what it's like to be in others blended families. If it's sometimes as perfect and sometimes as shit-tastic as ours is. about 95% of our days are awesome but when we have that 5% of not so awesome it really truely sucks. Not only because the kids just know what to do to drive myself and John up the wall, but also because J and myself know exactly what to say to get each other going.

So I use the term 'luxury' loosely but I have not had the 'luxury' of having a break. I have not had one in two weeks and I am really on edge. Not only that but ever since I have had Gavin I feel that my hormones are screwed up. I cry more, I get sad easily, I get angry easily and then I will be happy the next second after I went through the said emotions. But it really has been quite bad these past two weeks that I have been on someones beckoning call 24/7. Yeah, that is being a good Mother, but you know what? This good Mother needs a few hours of a break to continue to be a good

I try not to write about John and I's relationship too much on here because I know that there are a few people that are waiting for us to fail. So fair warning you aren't getting your wish.

Anyway, we have been arguing a lot over the most silly things. That's how it USUALLY goes, we argue about things that are simply not worth arguing over but it has been getting very heated. I don't know if it's all me, a little me, all him, or just the both of us. My feelings that it is the both of us. I am stressed to the max, and my behavior makes my husband stressed and then we just clash. I know that healthy relationships usually require an argument here and there...BUT...The only thing that I wished that would change is the fact that every time my husband and I get into a fight or an argument I always get "Do you want a divorce?" Thrown in my face...Or "Do you want someone else?" The "D" word is really banned from my house. 

I feel that J and I have too much of a fun and wonderful marriage that one fight over the fact that while I was getting J back for throwing a water balloon at me inside of the house filled with ice cold water; I took a handful of chocolate syrup to rub on his face and accidentally smacked his freshly stretched-to-zero ear lobe. It resulted in him getting ticked off, me feeling stupid, him realizing that and trying to play, me telling him to piss off, and then the D word was thrown out, lol. I know it doesn't sound that heated but many other words were exchanged after the D word. I just feel like since the both of us have been screwed over before that maybe divorce is just the most easy thing to say when we are fighting. 

So like I say, I wonder if more families go through the same trials that we do as a family and as a couple. I don't know many people who have the kind of life that we have. If I do they are older and sometimes I just wished that I knew someone that was closer to my age that I could relate to. I know we aren't abnormal, so don't get me wrong. I love my life and my crazy kids and my crazy husband...I don't take anything for granted and I couldn't imagine life without everything that I have now.


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