Sunday, March 27, 2011

It's human nature...

Us as humans think that when something bad happens to someone that isn't a very nice person that you say "That's karma for you!" and while I did for a split second think something like that I quickly felt bad afterward and kind of chalked it up as "You're human..It's your nature to be on the defense all the time.." If you're confused what I am talking about let me explain.

There is a girl that I have known since I was little. Let's just say we haven't ever been friends or even close to being friends. Her and my ex-husband started seeing each other, broke up, started seeing each other again and then broke up again. The last time they broke up she took something I said out of context and it quickly blew up to a : I'm going to call you a fat ass and make fun of how many children you have...Call your step children, husband, and unborn child ugly...(and I'm guessing she did not call my other 3 children ugly because that would've caused more problems between her and Patrick)...etc etc etc fest. Not to mention the good ol you better hope you never see me out because I will kick your ass kind of deal. Whatever. It became a joke around our house and was quickly dismissed.

I have known her parents for awhile too. Her Grandmother goes to my Mothers church which is how I know this girl from Brown Ave church days. Yesterday, I get a call from Patrick asking that myself, Mom, Grandma, anyone really pray to whatever God or thing we pray to because Ashley's parents house was burning to the ground. I was in shock, really, and praying and hoping that they had home insurance (which sadly they do not.) This girl and her son lives there...(from what I understand, since he has nothing and they saidt he little girl has clothes and things at her Dads house) Anyway...Since the fire spread so quickly they had to get out asap and the little boy had nothing but his underwear on. Patrick and Becca both called me and asked me if I could lend some clothes to him because everything was gone. I quickly jumped and got a winter coat, jeans, and a sweater.  At first I was kind of like..Too bad so sad..But something inside of me kind of said.."Are you serious, Nicole? We are talking about a little boy here. Forget about everything that has been said and done...Forgive but don't forget."

So I headed to the home like a bat out of hell and the street was blocked off. I wasn't sure what to expect with this home because I knew that sometimes my ex-husband was dramatic. But sure enough this house is completely burned from the inside and the entire back of the house was gone. They were still working on putting out the fire when I had arrived and I looked over to see the girl, her brothers, and her Mom crying. My heart felt heavy with sorrow as I couldn't imagine losing everything I had ever had...Luckily they got a neighbor to take the boy inside but he was still left in his undies. I said to this girl..I don't care what problems we have had..I don't care what has happened..If you need someone I am here. They words just fell out like vomit and I felt so overwhelmed and sad I hugged her. I know that these people that were standing in front of me hated me but I felt like I didn't care and I would hope that at that moment they would see that sometimes things in life aren't worth it. The things people say and do do not matter in a time of crises...and from now on I would hope that it stays that way.

When I got home I sat in the car for a moment and not really prayed to God but thought to God that something would become of this...That I don't have to have enemies for idiotic reasons. That everything that has been said and done to me could be forgiven. Part of me still want's to be a jerk and say that it's none of my business but the bigger part of me still want's to help.

That all being said..Ranting..Talking..Whatever I am doing...I am not asking for money donations or anything like that because I don't think I can legally do this on this site...BUT if you would like to talk to me about getting rid of things that you think may help I may be able to take it off of your hands ;) e-mail me, facebook me, text me, or call me.

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