Today I was lost in my thoughts while I was doing dishes. I was thinking about this new school year that will be starting this week for our children, and I was thinking about Alexander and how young he was when Jay & I decided to move into together.
Alexander was in Kindergarten and is now going into the fourth grade, Joey, Miley, & Aiden will be in 1st, & Dylan will be on his 2nd year of pre-k. Judging by where we were & where we are now, is something I feel so blessed to be a part of and that would be being a Mother of a blended family!
But you know, I just wanted to point out despite me blasting my love for family on facebook & my blogs and to everything that lives.... (LOL).....I do have hardships. I do have things that I have to deal with on a daily basis that I constantly think about and they're things that I simply cannot control. I'm going to write for once about the negative.
The biggest downside of being a Mother to a blended child family, is dealing with "the others." Let's face it, it can get down right ugly sometimes, and sometimes for absolutely no reason at all. I have my struggles lately as to where I don't know why the others do some of the things they do. I don't mean for this to be a bashing blog, but this is just the genuine truth of my life. The part of our lives that will always exists whether we like it or not!
Which brings me to my next points and this is some very important advice to people who are in a blended family or will be marrying someone with children:
PICK YOUR BATTLES: What I've learned is that there should be as little as possible contact with the other parent. Only things about the kids. Seriously. Pick your battles, if you hear that your ex husband/wife has been talking badly about you, just suck it up. THEY'RE YOUR EX FOR A REASON! Once you two split their opinion of you is nothing but that, an opinion. You need to learn to say, "who cares?"
DO NOT NIT PICK: Please, for the love of God, do not nit pick. Okay so little Johnny wasn't wearing socks that fit him. Throw the fucking pair away, and suck it up. It's not worth getting into an hour argument over some socks. Should you put your child in a pair of socks that fit, yes. But it doesn't mean it's worth fighting over, that kind of goes in with pick your battles.
and that's the end of that.
I seriously believe that I am so much more of a calm person when I practice those two key pieces of advice up there. I am not perfect and do go off into a rant sometimes, but usually I keep it pretty calm.
Now that we're done with that let's move on to the other thing the most important thing of all!
THE KIDS ARE THE #1 THING YOU SHOULD BE THINKING ABOUT!
Remember to always focus on them. Being a MOTHER or FATHER should be about what you can do to make sure your children are going to have a safe and happy life. ...That they will have an open mind and be well behaved. Live your happy life with your amazing children, and don't worry about anything else.
Okay! I'm seriously done now, thank you for reading my ramblings.