Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The kids have started some not-so-wonderful things.

So for about a month now my step-son, Joseph, has learned the "art" of lying. He lies about a lot of silly things but a lot of things that he says are extreme and could quite possibly get someone in trouble. For instance, when he has done something wrong, he says that he didn't do it. Even if you saw him do it, he says he didn't, or someone else did it first...Etc.

Another example, today he came home from his Mothers house & he jumped right on the computer. I asked him if he had asked his Dad if he could get on the computer (as we do not let the kids on the computer without asking, ever, because we need to know what they are doing on the computer at all times. Especially on the internet.) Mind you, Joey is 4 years old. He is a very smart & persuasive four year old and he promised me that his Dad said it was OK. So, I asked John if he said it was OK that Joey got on the computer. He said no, he didn't. So I asked Joey why he lied to me. He said he didn't lie to me his Dad said that he could get on the computer. J told him that he did not even ask to get on the computer, so no, he did not. Of course that end resulted in him throwing a fit and we sent him to his room.

Another instance today with my daughter Miley, who is also 4 years old: I asked her why she took something from Dylan and she said that she did not. That "Dylan gave it to her." While I watched Dylan set his toy down for one moment and she picked it up and said that he set it down and now it's hers. So I asked her again, she gave me the same answer, and got sent to her room for lying.

Both instances I've tried to explain to the two that lying is NOT cool in this house. That we would rather you tell the truth, because then, you will get lesser to no punishment for telling THE TRUTH.

Joseph's lying has gotten extremely out of hand and I'm not sure what to do about it.

Joey has also gotten more aggressive....Today he punched Miley in the mouth, made her bleed, because he was mad that she fell asleep....I told him since Miley fell asleep it's bed time anyway, it's time for bed. He was playing his video game (after we had a little conversation about lying) and he was mad that he had to get off. I told J about it because I could not even begin to express how ticked off I was that I witnessed that. Where have my sweet kids gone this summer? I can't wait until school starts again because I am sick of the disrespect to not only myself & my husband, but the disrespect the kids are showing towards each other.

I've read a few parenting articles online, that kind of helped. They have basically said that pre-school aged children do usually start to lie at that age. Which, as one of my examples showed, this would be true. But the other types of lies that go on around here have nothing to do with what is stated below.

*Lies to get something they want or to avoid something they don't want - Preschoolers tell these types of lies for the same reasons that adults do, but they often don't see anything wrong with telling a lie to gain a result they want. When children this age tell these types of lies, parents should try not to overreact. Instead, they should point out to their children that it is wrong to lie, and that it is important to tell the truth
We had just gotten over a huge thing not to long ago- and that was the biting. All of the kids (minus alex and gavin wasn't born) were biting. We tried EVERYTHING. Finally, after consulting the pediatrician, he said just simply smack their hands. Low and behold it worked. However, Dylan has started biting again, but I think it's for a different reason. When he was biting before he bit in self defensive against his brothers and sister. Now he is biting out of rage, and once more, we are going to have to deal with this. It seems like everything is a vicious cycle.

I understand that some of it is typical brother-brother or brother-sister feuds but some of it really is not. A lot of words are being exchanged, a lot of physical violence is happening and I am NOT enjoying it at all. I really would like to ask for help of any parent that has any advice at all.

1 comment:

  1. *hugs* Nikki, I do not begin to pretend like I know what you go through on a daily basis. I can only give you advice from what I have experienced, and I am not perfect and only have two kids. We have a terrible time with Adam lying..and have had him resort to biting for anger. The only thing I can say is to remember to keep your calm and be consistent. Remember we deal with a lot of rage from Adam. Not everyone is going to think you are doing a good job, but do the best you know how. With Adam we have to learn which battle to fight and keep our calm. For the lying help...check this out..I wrote it after being so anger at Adam for lying so much.