So I have been looking at pictures lately from my past and my husband seemed to be kind of down about it. He had said "sorry" to me while I was looking at the photographs and I couldn't really pin point why he should've been sorry. I guess he thought I had missed the way things were, but he was mistaken.
As a young Mom of already 3 I think I probably did a little bit too much of the 'party' life. I probably would go out once or twice a month sometimes three or 4. That isn't exactly a lot but when you have young children like I do, it really is. My ex-husband and I ran a promotions for bands and that is mainly why we were out as much as we were. That was the only thing that my ex husband and I could connect on was music and promoting music from all around the united states (with a lot of help from friends/bands as well)...It was a thrill bringing bands in from all over to come to our small city and having an amazing turn out for shows.
But as fun as it was, I have given up that life and I won't ever go back. I've been asked if Pat and I would ever join together and do what we did again and the answer is a straight shot-no. Not because I don't think it would be fun, but I have more things in life to worry about.
There are some times where I wished that I could go out and just not worry about anything. But fact is, going out is just asking for a lot of money to be spent and probably run in to someone you'd rather not run in to. John and I did go out a few times on the weekends that we didn't have the children. But now that Gavin is going to be born, and I will be breastfeeding, all of that just seems meaningless to me. I am not one of those people that feel "lame" because I am home with my kids on a Saturday night. In fact, I would preferr it. New Years Eve we had a lot of fun with the kids and we made memories...Like "cat drinks." :) I also feel like John & I need to be the ones to set examples for the children by showing that you can go out and have fun and NOT drink. Like maybe go to dinner and a movie...Or find something else to do.
I'm not saying I won't ever go out again, because at times I will want to. I am not saying I am never going to have a drink, because sometimes I will want to....and not to sound like a nerd or anything but I really enjoy going to my in-laws and watching movies...Shooting the shit...and having a drink (whenever I'm not pregnant I guess :P)
The life I had is gone for a reason...Being Mom and Step Mom is #1 for me and I do not have any regrets.