I am so disappointed in myself. I had let myself succumb to keeping quiet about my feelings and let go of what I had been such a fan of...Blogging.
I read my last post. Holy crap...It literally was an eye opener as to what I have been going through these past six or so months.
If you read my last blog post from 2013, I had expressed my differences between myself and my ex husband and his well-known drug addict girlfriend soon to be wife......
Three years later I would be the victim of her resentment. Extreme resentment.
I had trusted her all too much. Her coming to me and my family at sporting events talking our ear off (us knowing she was high & just dealing with her) to her just simply down-grading Parick who rarely ever looked my direction. It was mainly just her.
My ex husband stopped having contact with me the year I started blogging about it. I stopped having direct contact with my ex husband because his wife seriously thinks that I want him back. She honestly thinks that we will be a thing once again because I long for it. I would rather slit my own throat that be back with that man, but I also would rather co-parent with him rather than her. I literally have had to go through her as far as parenting goes and that's where my problems began.
From years previous this woman had vowed to either put me in the ground or put me in jail somehow. I NEVER took her seriously. Except for when she tried to take my kids from me and unfortunately my ex-husband followed her way.
So anyway...
The end of 2016 was trying for me as a Mommy. I spent over 2,000 dollars to get my kids back and into therapy no thanks to their Father and his wife. I was able to try to re-build my relationship with my kids....Thanks to them. I am stronger and better than ever before. I know that when the point of your enemies is to break you.....I came out stronger than before. I was totally victimized as being a person who had been assaulted as a child and my ex tried to make that out to be an excuse as to why I wasn't fit to me a Mom...and IT MADE ME STRONGER THAN EVER BEFORE.....So THANKS to those who try to persecute me....THANKS to his FAMILY who tried to RUIN ME....YOU WERE WRONG AND MY CHILDREN LOVE ME NOW MORE THAN EVER.....THANK YOU....SO MUCH...for trying to pretend to be there for me...AND THEN..turn your backs on me...IT'S BETTER TO KNOW WHO'S TRUE and who's not.
Monday, January 23, 2017
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
High Conflict Personality.
The blog that I had written before this last one I had mentioned the two more important thing to make your life not a living hell regarding dealing with ' the others' . Unfortunately, I had not been practicing those things recently. I've let myself slip into a bullshit mode and I am not exactly happy with it. Well, I should say I had..After my slip up of falling into the trap of the ex bullshit (with my ex)...I snapped back to reality.. I have recently been practicing my own advice to ignore any conflict between any ex's what-so-ever and it's been working out nicely.
I read this article today and I wanted to share it with my readers because I know that there's a lot of you that can appreciate this advice. This one piece of advice really opened my eyes because I had been trying so long to co-parent with everyone and it simply is not possible. Especially with the recent events that I had been dealing with my ex-husband and his new pleasant (ha) wife.
Example #1
At the time girlfriend of the ex had text messaging me asking me to do a favor for her and my ex husband. This woman and I have not gotten along since we were children. She is someone who is also a high conflict person and she is also considered a narcissist. However, these past four years of my ex and his on again off again relationship I've tried to make it work. I reached out to her for the millionth time telling her I was tired of the bull and I would really like to be able to co-parent with her and my ex husband and I also had reassured her that there's nothing between Patrick and I. You see, she throws a fit whenever I talk to my ex husband because she, for whatever reason, thinks we're going to fall in love again and get back together.
But shortly after that she had started bath mouthing me and I had found out about it and I had of course, fell into the trap and felt like I needed to defend myself. Stupid....Stupid...Stupid.
A) Someone who has never lked you is never going to like you. Do not fall into the trap of thinking things will be better when they're speaking nicely to you. They are the ones who will turn around and say something terrible about you as soon as you turn your back.
B) Never fell the need to defend yourself. If you know that they're lying, they're lying. Who are they lying to? People that do not know you. If you don't know these people....They don't matter.
Example #2
Shortly after the events up above my ex husband had started speaking to me again. He and his girlfriend had broke up. He had told me to not let the children around his ex girlfriend because of her ongoing drug problem. I listened to him and for those 4 days we co-parented really well, but it was only because I was pretty much the only one that was willing to listen to his upsets---or at least he knew he would get sympathy from me.
Just as I thought things were going well with him I had text messaged him about almost 9 one night to speak to him about some dance thing Miley was wanting to do. I didn't think the time would be an issue, but little did I know my ex husband and gotten back with that very girl he told me had a drug problem and "he wouldn't be friends with her until she was clean." and that next day he told me that I needed to stop talking to him and he was back to the same ol' man he usually has been.
My first mistake was letting him talk to me about his relationship problems.
My second mistake was actually thinking he would hold up on his end by keeping the children away from a drug addict.
And the biggest mistake I made was when I had called him out on getting married to her two weeks after he had told me to keep them away from her. Although, it did open my eyes. Because I am no longer practicing co-parenting with him. I let him know the staples of the childrens lives as far as school and sporting events go and I try to keep conversation as minimal as possible. NOT because he told me to, but because I don't want to. I will not allow myself to be his mental punching bag.
Since deciding to no longer try to 'make things work' and ignore him, I've been so much more happier. It might be hard at first because if you're like me you love to have everything work out...But sometimes things just don't. Let it go....and things will be better.
I read this article today and I wanted to share it with my readers because I know that there's a lot of you that can appreciate this advice. This one piece of advice really opened my eyes because I had been trying so long to co-parent with everyone and it simply is not possible. Especially with the recent events that I had been dealing with my ex-husband and his new pleasant (ha) wife.
5. Stop Trying to Co-Parent
I have written before about the one-size-fits-all co-parenting model. Well-meaning, but misinformed therapists do targets of high-conflict personalities a huge disservice by advising them that they can, and should, co-parent. Certainly, an amicable co-parenting relationship is ideal for children. But attempts to co-parent with a narcissist or a borderline will keep you engaged in battle. You will forever be on the receiving end of intrusive, controlling, chaotic behaviors which will make you and your kids crazy.
I have written before about the one-size-fits-all co-parenting model. Well-meaning, but misinformed therapists do targets of high-conflict personalities a huge disservice by advising them that they can, and should, co-parent. Certainly, an amicable co-parenting relationship is ideal for children. But attempts to co-parent with a narcissist or a borderline will keep you engaged in battle. You will forever be on the receiving end of intrusive, controlling, chaotic behaviors which will make you and your kids crazy.
Parallel parenting is the only paradigm that should be recommended to people with personality-disordered exes. This means that you give up the fantasy that you can have consistency between homes, or appear as a united front. The more high-conflict your ex is, the more you will need to separate yourself and your parenting. This may mean hosting separate birthday parties, scheduling separate parent-teacher conferences and not sharing what goes on in your house.
While you may feel that you are sending a terrible message to your children by limiting contact with their other parent, you are actually protecting them by minimizing the potential for conflict.
Targets of high-conflict personalities need to accept that it isn't wise to be "authentic" with their ex. Strategic, limited disclosures and iron-clad boundaries are essential tools in managing a high-conflict divorce. While it may seem paradoxical, true authenticity comes from holding on to one's sense of self while gracefully disengaging from a narcissist.
That bit up there is from an article on this website:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/virginia-gilbert-mft/what-therapists-dont-tell_b_2622776.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false#sb=1299755b=facebook
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/virginia-gilbert-mft/what-therapists-dont-tell_b_2622776.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false#sb=1299755b=facebook
When I had been trying so hard...Too hard, really, to co-parent I had been setting myself up for his up and down and all around personality & in the end...Guess who ended up getting hurt? Me. I allowed myself to do that and I will never do that again.
Let me give you an example on what not to do, using your my own experience.Example #1
At the time girlfriend of the ex had text messaging me asking me to do a favor for her and my ex husband. This woman and I have not gotten along since we were children. She is someone who is also a high conflict person and she is also considered a narcissist. However, these past four years of my ex and his on again off again relationship I've tried to make it work. I reached out to her for the millionth time telling her I was tired of the bull and I would really like to be able to co-parent with her and my ex husband and I also had reassured her that there's nothing between Patrick and I. You see, she throws a fit whenever I talk to my ex husband because she, for whatever reason, thinks we're going to fall in love again and get back together.
But shortly after that she had started bath mouthing me and I had found out about it and I had of course, fell into the trap and felt like I needed to defend myself. Stupid....Stupid...Stupid.
A) Someone who has never lked you is never going to like you. Do not fall into the trap of thinking things will be better when they're speaking nicely to you. They are the ones who will turn around and say something terrible about you as soon as you turn your back.
B) Never fell the need to defend yourself. If you know that they're lying, they're lying. Who are they lying to? People that do not know you. If you don't know these people....They don't matter.
Example #2
Shortly after the events up above my ex husband had started speaking to me again. He and his girlfriend had broke up. He had told me to not let the children around his ex girlfriend because of her ongoing drug problem. I listened to him and for those 4 days we co-parented really well, but it was only because I was pretty much the only one that was willing to listen to his upsets---or at least he knew he would get sympathy from me.
Just as I thought things were going well with him I had text messaged him about almost 9 one night to speak to him about some dance thing Miley was wanting to do. I didn't think the time would be an issue, but little did I know my ex husband and gotten back with that very girl he told me had a drug problem and "he wouldn't be friends with her until she was clean." and that next day he told me that I needed to stop talking to him and he was back to the same ol' man he usually has been.
My first mistake was letting him talk to me about his relationship problems.
My second mistake was actually thinking he would hold up on his end by keeping the children away from a drug addict.
And the biggest mistake I made was when I had called him out on getting married to her two weeks after he had told me to keep them away from her. Although, it did open my eyes. Because I am no longer practicing co-parenting with him. I let him know the staples of the childrens lives as far as school and sporting events go and I try to keep conversation as minimal as possible. NOT because he told me to, but because I don't want to. I will not allow myself to be his mental punching bag.
Since deciding to no longer try to 'make things work' and ignore him, I've been so much more happier. It might be hard at first because if you're like me you love to have everything work out...But sometimes things just don't. Let it go....and things will be better.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
I stopped caring what people think!
SO this year I've decided I'm going to take a stand and not back out of doing the things I want to do. I will not let people intimidate me or make me feel like I don't belong. I also learned that I need to give people a chance here in Knoxville instead of automatically thinking that everyone that lives here is a snob.
I've lived here since January 2010 and belonged to this community, but never really felt like I belong.
Like I said in the beginning of this blog, I set a goal to be more involved and make new friends. Especially with the Moms in my town. When I signed up to be room Mom last year, I went to the meeting and signed up for the parties... and the only time anyone ever called me is because someone else backed out of doing something. But of course my snacks and drinks were always welcome, but not my physical participation. When I signed up I wanted to try to not only do really fun things for our childrens holiday parties but I also wanted to try to make friends. I always walk up to the school with my boys and everyone else around me are talking to each other. Those are just some examples of my experience so far here.
So I've started finding a few people that seem friendly and start talking to them. I got on the conversation of house holds with this very friendly woman that told me she's jealous that we have so many kids. She wants eight, but has four. Very family oriented and a good person to hold a conversation to. I've also met another girl that we found common ground about our tattoos, she too felt like she was awkward because of them.
I also have been trying to talk to other parents at sports events and even offered to help the coach at a ball game this year! Which was totally huge for me!
As much as I have a big mouth and I tend to be confrontational, I do have a soft side of me that no one sees. Everyone always expects me to be the strong one that won't take anyone's shit, but I do strive to ' fit in' where I'm from by not changing and conform to the perfect hair, nice bod, seemingly super moms. I love my crazy hair, tattoos, silly sense of humor & I need to give other people a chance too.
SOOOO my goal is to make sure that when I sign up for room Mom, make sure I'm invited to all and any meetings, talk to everyone I see whether they look friendly or not, and just be confident at what kind of Mother and Wife I am!
I've lived here since January 2010 and belonged to this community, but never really felt like I belong.
Like I said in the beginning of this blog, I set a goal to be more involved and make new friends. Especially with the Moms in my town. When I signed up to be room Mom last year, I went to the meeting and signed up for the parties... and the only time anyone ever called me is because someone else backed out of doing something. But of course my snacks and drinks were always welcome, but not my physical participation. When I signed up I wanted to try to not only do really fun things for our childrens holiday parties but I also wanted to try to make friends. I always walk up to the school with my boys and everyone else around me are talking to each other. Those are just some examples of my experience so far here.
So I've started finding a few people that seem friendly and start talking to them. I got on the conversation of house holds with this very friendly woman that told me she's jealous that we have so many kids. She wants eight, but has four. Very family oriented and a good person to hold a conversation to. I've also met another girl that we found common ground about our tattoos, she too felt like she was awkward because of them.
I also have been trying to talk to other parents at sports events and even offered to help the coach at a ball game this year! Which was totally huge for me!
As much as I have a big mouth and I tend to be confrontational, I do have a soft side of me that no one sees. Everyone always expects me to be the strong one that won't take anyone's shit, but I do strive to ' fit in' where I'm from by not changing and conform to the perfect hair, nice bod, seemingly super moms. I love my crazy hair, tattoos, silly sense of humor & I need to give other people a chance too.
SOOOO my goal is to make sure that when I sign up for room Mom, make sure I'm invited to all and any meetings, talk to everyone I see whether they look friendly or not, and just be confident at what kind of Mother and Wife I am!
Monday, August 19, 2013
It's not always roses and sunshine.
I haven't written in so long! I guess that's not such a bad thing. I miss blogging!
Today I was lost in my thoughts while I was doing dishes. I was thinking about this new school year that will be starting this week for our children, and I was thinking about Alexander and how young he was when Jay & I decided to move into together.
Alexander was in Kindergarten and is now going into the fourth grade, Joey, Miley, & Aiden will be in 1st, & Dylan will be on his 2nd year of pre-k. Judging by where we were & where we are now, is something I feel so blessed to be a part of and that would be being a Mother of a blended family!
But you know, I just wanted to point out despite me blasting my love for family on facebook & my blogs and to everything that lives.... (LOL).....I do have hardships. I do have things that I have to deal with on a daily basis that I constantly think about and they're things that I simply cannot control. I'm going to write for once about the negative.
The biggest downside of being a Mother to a blended child family, is dealing with "the others." Let's face it, it can get down right ugly sometimes, and sometimes for absolutely no reason at all. I have my struggles lately as to where I don't know why the others do some of the things they do. I don't mean for this to be a bashing blog, but this is just the genuine truth of my life. The part of our lives that will always exists whether we like it or not!
Which brings me to my next points and this is some very important advice to people who are in a blended family or will be marrying someone with children:
PICK YOUR BATTLES: What I've learned is that there should be as little as possible contact with the other parent. Only things about the kids. Seriously. Pick your battles, if you hear that your ex husband/wife has been talking badly about you, just suck it up. THEY'RE YOUR EX FOR A REASON! Once you two split their opinion of you is nothing but that, an opinion. You need to learn to say, "who cares?"
DO NOT NIT PICK: Please, for the love of God, do not nit pick. Okay so little Johnny wasn't wearing socks that fit him. Throw the fucking pair away, and suck it up. It's not worth getting into an hour argument over some socks. Should you put your child in a pair of socks that fit, yes. But it doesn't mean it's worth fighting over, that kind of goes in with pick your battles.
and that's the end of that.
I seriously believe that I am so much more of a calm person when I practice those two key pieces of advice up there. I am not perfect and do go off into a rant sometimes, but usually I keep it pretty calm.
Now that we're done with that let's move on to the other thing the most important thing of all!
Remember to always focus on them. Being a MOTHER or FATHER should be about what you can do to make sure your children are going to have a safe and happy life. ...That they will have an open mind and be well behaved. Live your happy life with your amazing children, and don't worry about anything else.
Today I was lost in my thoughts while I was doing dishes. I was thinking about this new school year that will be starting this week for our children, and I was thinking about Alexander and how young he was when Jay & I decided to move into together.
Alexander was in Kindergarten and is now going into the fourth grade, Joey, Miley, & Aiden will be in 1st, & Dylan will be on his 2nd year of pre-k. Judging by where we were & where we are now, is something I feel so blessed to be a part of and that would be being a Mother of a blended family!
But you know, I just wanted to point out despite me blasting my love for family on facebook & my blogs and to everything that lives.... (LOL).....I do have hardships. I do have things that I have to deal with on a daily basis that I constantly think about and they're things that I simply cannot control. I'm going to write for once about the negative.
The biggest downside of being a Mother to a blended child family, is dealing with "the others." Let's face it, it can get down right ugly sometimes, and sometimes for absolutely no reason at all. I have my struggles lately as to where I don't know why the others do some of the things they do. I don't mean for this to be a bashing blog, but this is just the genuine truth of my life. The part of our lives that will always exists whether we like it or not!
Which brings me to my next points and this is some very important advice to people who are in a blended family or will be marrying someone with children:
PICK YOUR BATTLES: What I've learned is that there should be as little as possible contact with the other parent. Only things about the kids. Seriously. Pick your battles, if you hear that your ex husband/wife has been talking badly about you, just suck it up. THEY'RE YOUR EX FOR A REASON! Once you two split their opinion of you is nothing but that, an opinion. You need to learn to say, "who cares?"
DO NOT NIT PICK: Please, for the love of God, do not nit pick. Okay so little Johnny wasn't wearing socks that fit him. Throw the fucking pair away, and suck it up. It's not worth getting into an hour argument over some socks. Should you put your child in a pair of socks that fit, yes. But it doesn't mean it's worth fighting over, that kind of goes in with pick your battles.
and that's the end of that.
I seriously believe that I am so much more of a calm person when I practice those two key pieces of advice up there. I am not perfect and do go off into a rant sometimes, but usually I keep it pretty calm.
Now that we're done with that let's move on to the other thing the most important thing of all!
THE KIDS ARE THE #1 THING YOU SHOULD BE THINKING ABOUT!
Remember to always focus on them. Being a MOTHER or FATHER should be about what you can do to make sure your children are going to have a safe and happy life. ...That they will have an open mind and be well behaved. Live your happy life with your amazing children, and don't worry about anything else.
Okay! I'm seriously done now, thank you for reading my ramblings.
xoxoxox
NIK
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
It's been such a long time..............
Wow, it's been such a long time since I've written a blog! I wish I could write more but I just do not have the time anymore!
So, since I've written a lot has been going on. We are ending the school year and also starting baseball season. Jay and I have signed 5 of the 6 up for baseball. It's been pretty time consuming, but fun so far!
This is Dylan's first year of t-ball and he's doing very well. I told my husband that I could quite possibly be his biggest fan. He will be finishing up his first year of pre-k and I really cannot even begin to tell you how overwhelming that is. I went from rocking this little butterball 9 month old to sleep, to tucking this big boy in that is excited for his next ball game.
Miley, Aiden, & Joseph are in coach pitch this year and this is a little bit harder for them. I'm very excited to see what they will accomplish.
As far as Alexander's team goes, they're 100% BETTER this year than they were last year. We don't have the same team as we did last year, but we do have a lot of the same players. This year they've won 2 out of the 3 games played.
Anyway, now that I've updated you all on their sports I have to make a special part of my blog deticated to my twins, Aiden and Miley.
Tomorrow my babies will be turning six years old. I find it so hard to wrap my mind around it because it seems like just yesterday I was getting my ultrasound finding out that I am having not one baby, but TWO babies. I was quite young when I had found out I was pregnant with them, but I also was married and ready to complete the family I had always wanted. I remember laying on the bed and seeing one sack with a bean in it..........then her moving the wand around (the vaginal wand, since it was 9 weeks when i found out) and seeing a second sack (or so I thought!) and asking..........."there's only one, right?!" I remember feeling the anxiety when she told me that there's two in there and wondering how the hell I was going to manage....I told the woman "I'm going to live in a box! I can't afford this!" But, I always seemed to be able to take care of my babies no matter the circumstances.
I can sit here and remember the sleepless nights where I was 18 years old taking care of a 3 year old and twin newborns all by myself. My marriage was quickly falling into the dark place and I would go days without sleep. Patrick did always work but if he wasn't working he was never home. I did have help during the day sometimes, from my sister or my sister in law (at the time) but most times it was just me and my children. I thank God for the strength he gave me to be able to care for my children the way the needed to be cared for. Sometimes I DO wish that I would have taken care of things better, but I have to remember that I really did the best I could and I cannot turn back time.
Well, that's all for now...
xoxoxox
Nikki
So, since I've written a lot has been going on. We are ending the school year and also starting baseball season. Jay and I have signed 5 of the 6 up for baseball. It's been pretty time consuming, but fun so far!
This is Dylan's first year of t-ball and he's doing very well. I told my husband that I could quite possibly be his biggest fan. He will be finishing up his first year of pre-k and I really cannot even begin to tell you how overwhelming that is. I went from rocking this little butterball 9 month old to sleep, to tucking this big boy in that is excited for his next ball game.
Miley, Aiden, & Joseph are in coach pitch this year and this is a little bit harder for them. I'm very excited to see what they will accomplish.
As far as Alexander's team goes, they're 100% BETTER this year than they were last year. We don't have the same team as we did last year, but we do have a lot of the same players. This year they've won 2 out of the 3 games played.
Anyway, now that I've updated you all on their sports I have to make a special part of my blog deticated to my twins, Aiden and Miley.
Tomorrow my babies will be turning six years old. I find it so hard to wrap my mind around it because it seems like just yesterday I was getting my ultrasound finding out that I am having not one baby, but TWO babies. I was quite young when I had found out I was pregnant with them, but I also was married and ready to complete the family I had always wanted. I remember laying on the bed and seeing one sack with a bean in it..........then her moving the wand around (the vaginal wand, since it was 9 weeks when i found out) and seeing a second sack (or so I thought!) and asking..........."there's only one, right?!" I remember feeling the anxiety when she told me that there's two in there and wondering how the hell I was going to manage....I told the woman "I'm going to live in a box! I can't afford this!" But, I always seemed to be able to take care of my babies no matter the circumstances.
I can sit here and remember the sleepless nights where I was 18 years old taking care of a 3 year old and twin newborns all by myself. My marriage was quickly falling into the dark place and I would go days without sleep. Patrick did always work but if he wasn't working he was never home. I did have help during the day sometimes, from my sister or my sister in law (at the time) but most times it was just me and my children. I thank God for the strength he gave me to be able to care for my children the way the needed to be cared for. Sometimes I DO wish that I would have taken care of things better, but I have to remember that I really did the best I could and I cannot turn back time.
Well, that's all for now...
xoxoxox
Nikki
Monday, December 24, 2012
...but we've been good!
Well, here I am. It's Christmas eve and I am writing a blog from my phone. It's been a week since I've been healthy. A week since I've been able to say that I felt great. I've had influenza that turned into an upper respatory infection. And four our of six of our children have been diagnosed with influenza. Never would I have thought that we would be suffering from this mess. I am so anti shots, and yet here I am...wishing we all would have gotten the flu shot. It's Christmas eve and we've all been down Nd out. Between fevers and administering meds we haven't had much time for Christmas spirit. .......this morning santa did visit our home and that did bring a little joy to our house. It was nice to see the kids s, team, smile, and laugh. John and I both needed that. Gavin has rsv.and pneumonia by the way and he is doing substantially better. we have been receiving so many get well wishes I wished that they actually made us better. But it is nice that people care enough to check on us. So Anthony, ho hopefully I will be done feeling sorry for myself and perk up enough to bring some music hand.cheer to the house. I've got sleeping Dylan on my lap and he finally stopped having.fever and I need to stand up and take a break. Gavin is about to have a stroke that someone else other than him is on me......so on that note I'm out of here. Merry Christmas yall. Xoxox Mrs plague.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Happy Birthday To Our Boy.
On every single one of our children's birthdays I always sit back and think of the years past. I remember all of the good times. I can remember every booboo every hug, every kiss, every word, all of these cherished memories.
I have been given the opportunity in life to be there for all the years of Josephs life. Although I may not have been his Step Mother for all the years of his life, I feel blessed that I have had the ability to watch this boy grow.
Joseph was two years old when John and I had started to see each other and at the time he was hardly talking. He had called me "Binkti" and he loved cool cars and his Dad. The bond that Joey and his Father have always had is one that not many Fathers these days share with their sons. And that is what I love the most about Joseph's personality is that he has love for people and making people happy and he always has.
As the years go on I have watched this big eyed boy grow into such a young man and it seems like it has happened so fast.
My husband and I are always astounded at the new things he may learn. When he comes home from school, he kicks his shoes off, and asks to get started with his homework for the day, we know that he has grasped responsibility. The detication that he shows to his school work lets me know that that the morals/work ethics that Jay and I are trying to instill in our children are sticking and to be honest that warms my heart!
So, last night I had the idea to blow up a ton of balloons and have him wake up to the floor filled with it. This morning, Jay and I walked into his room and Gavin had started to holler because he spotted all of the balloons. Joseph started to giggle that still boyish giggle, when my husband started to kiss him and I started to tease him asking him "what the heck is going on in here?!" He announced that it was HIS BIRTHDAY and really wanted to go down stairs to make the announcement to his other brothers and sister.
What a blessed day this is, to have our six year old wake up happy and healthy.
PS.
My husband and I were talking about how in six months we will have 3 six year olds. Six months, three six year olds for six months. BRING IT ON 2013 ;)
X0X0X
Mrs. Roy
Thursday, November 22, 2012
GIVE THANKS
I totally didn't do a thankful for every day. Although I am thankful for something every day and not just in the month of November, I will just say this: I am thankful for the gift(s) and opportunities that God has given to me. When things weren't going right and wrong paths had been taken I was always driven in the right direction. I am thankful for my Son Alexander, who may have came very early in my life but he took me away from a life that I can honestly say I don't know if I would be alive today. I am thankful for my twins, because they helped me grow and helped me become a better Mother!
I am thankful for lost relationships because they lead me to the love of my life, Jay. I am so very thankful for my husband John because he gave me a place to live when I had no where else to go. He showed me love in a way that no one else ever had before. He showed me the love a Father had for his children when he tucked them in at night. He showed me the love a step-father has for his children when he tucked the others in at night!
I am also thankful for the three gifts that he gave me, Joseph, Dylan, and Gavin. These three boys helped complete my want for a big family and gave my other three children awesome brothers! We took our chance with Gavin and I couldn't think of a more amazing big blue eyed long eye lashed baby to put that finishing touch to our chaos!
I am so thankful for my job because in this day and age money is hard to come by. What are the chances of my interview at kmart being sabotaged (lol stella, remember that?) turning into a job with a wonderful family? I seriously have never met a more caring and giving family than that one. They were there right away when I had moved in, they always help to this day with anything that they can. I honestly could never repay these people for the love they have shown me and my family! And the only thing that they ask for in return is respect and love and that is something that they not only deserve but that they will always receive from me!
I am thankful for my Mom, and my brother and sisters that are always there to help with the kids when I need to work and my Grandmother for doing the same. We have our own little group up here and we are strong and a good family in that way.
I am thankful for Jared and Deborah. I am so happy that I wrote them and they came into my lives even when they didn't have to. I am so glad that I had found you two and that you have became the Dad I never had and that awesome Step Mom. I am thankful for every conversation, our meetings, our cards, and especially that you guys got facebook and texting so it's easier to talk everyday VS. letters haha..Technology!
I am going to try to wrap this up now. I am thankful for my TRUE friends that have stuck beside me no matter what has happened in my life. I understand that I haven't always been the most amazing person to be around. I understand that I may have not always been the best friend that you could have asked for. I understand that I might not always see you, or talk to you, but you people know who you are to me. I don't need to name anyone because you know who you are. My very few true friends, and I am thankful for my new friendships that are blossoming as well. Don't worry, I didn't skip out on ya.
I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THOSE 74 POUNDS BEING GONE! THE GYM, THE SWEAT, THE TEARS, THE GOOD DAYS THE BAD DAYS.........THE END!
X0X0XX0
Mrs. Roy
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
And then it just hit me like a ton of bricks.
Since the school year has started I have noticed huge improvements with the kids. Alexander is doing so well, hardly ever doing anything other than perfect work. Pre-school Dylan seems to be doing well, and The Kindergarten children are doing pretty well, except for my Aiden.
I had an early PT conference with Aidens teacher. We had an early conf. because of Aidens behavior. Aiden has been having a hard time listening and completing his work.
For awhile I have known that something wasn't quite "right" with Aiden. I watch the other children grow and play, and their likes and dislikes change. Aiden has stayed the same for the past two years. He still likes the things that he liked while he was Dylan's age and he isn't quite at the same level as say Joseph or Miley is for that age.
Anyway, the teacher had said that she felt that Aiden was very immature. She also showed me his test scores. When I saw them my mouth dropped open and I felt as if I was going to faint. My eyes started to water and it hit me like a ton of bricks, something really is going on with my baby.
His uncompleted work sheets she saved back showed that he was too busy writing his name all over the paper. He was stuck on one thing. This is when Aiden was having a hard time writing his name and he would do this all of the time. He was being Aiden, practicing his name, so Mommy would be super happy that he was writing properly. He wasn't focusing on the task at hand, he was focused on what he wanted to learn to do and that was to write his name properly.
She told me that she has tried to help him on several occasions and even worksheets they do together as a class are wrong because he is speeding thru them so he can color a picture.
I saw his writing journal and you could tell when it was a bad day for him, because it would be sloppy and he would be scribbling pictures instead of taking the time. Some days are better than others, obviously.
My ex husband was and still is trying to convince me that Aiden is just lazy. He is trying to convince me that nothing is wrong. But after seeing my darling Aidens test scores, speaking with the teacher, I knew it was time to go over any one trying to convince me that I wanted something wrong with my son (which is a complete and total load of bullshit) I made a doctors appointment today to have Aiden screened for ADD/ADHD.
I never would have thought in one million years that our family would face this. John and I have been struggling with Aiden and getting him to complete tasks as simple as getting dressed within a reasonable amount of time, various other things. Jay was there with me at the PT conference because I felt that he is a huge part of Aidens life. Aiden lives with us, John is someone he needs to be able to know that he is there for him too.
I am so very nervous for Aidens doctors appointment. I know that everything will be okay. I am looking into trying different eating habits for Aiden to see if that helps. I have heard a lot of people tell me to try that as well.
Well, that is all. That's what's going on. Hopefully I will have happier news next time.
Mrs Roy.
I had an early PT conference with Aidens teacher. We had an early conf. because of Aidens behavior. Aiden has been having a hard time listening and completing his work.
For awhile I have known that something wasn't quite "right" with Aiden. I watch the other children grow and play, and their likes and dislikes change. Aiden has stayed the same for the past two years. He still likes the things that he liked while he was Dylan's age and he isn't quite at the same level as say Joseph or Miley is for that age.
Anyway, the teacher had said that she felt that Aiden was very immature. She also showed me his test scores. When I saw them my mouth dropped open and I felt as if I was going to faint. My eyes started to water and it hit me like a ton of bricks, something really is going on with my baby.
His uncompleted work sheets she saved back showed that he was too busy writing his name all over the paper. He was stuck on one thing. This is when Aiden was having a hard time writing his name and he would do this all of the time. He was being Aiden, practicing his name, so Mommy would be super happy that he was writing properly. He wasn't focusing on the task at hand, he was focused on what he wanted to learn to do and that was to write his name properly.
She told me that she has tried to help him on several occasions and even worksheets they do together as a class are wrong because he is speeding thru them so he can color a picture.
I saw his writing journal and you could tell when it was a bad day for him, because it would be sloppy and he would be scribbling pictures instead of taking the time. Some days are better than others, obviously.
My ex husband was and still is trying to convince me that Aiden is just lazy. He is trying to convince me that nothing is wrong. But after seeing my darling Aidens test scores, speaking with the teacher, I knew it was time to go over any one trying to convince me that I wanted something wrong with my son (which is a complete and total load of bullshit) I made a doctors appointment today to have Aiden screened for ADD/ADHD.
I never would have thought in one million years that our family would face this. John and I have been struggling with Aiden and getting him to complete tasks as simple as getting dressed within a reasonable amount of time, various other things. Jay was there with me at the PT conference because I felt that he is a huge part of Aidens life. Aiden lives with us, John is someone he needs to be able to know that he is there for him too.
I am so very nervous for Aidens doctors appointment. I know that everything will be okay. I am looking into trying different eating habits for Aiden to see if that helps. I have heard a lot of people tell me to try that as well.
Well, that is all. That's what's going on. Hopefully I will have happier news next time.
Mrs Roy.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
What would you do?
Yesterday after picking up the children from school, on our way home Joe says to me "I have a surprise for you and you are going to LOVE IT!"
When we got home I didn't know what to expect because my guy Joe tends to have surprises that are slimey, scratchy or stinky. We all got setteled in and he shows me this book about spiders. I read this book and the drawings and colors and I say to him "Job well done! But did you cut this book out yourself?" as I hold the book up in the air to examin it, he says to me, "yes! and that is the surprise, I knew you would LOVE how I cut this book, and you can have it."
To most it would just be some paper that the kids cut out at school and learned about spiders. But for me it was a bonding moment with my step-son Joey. The words "step" always sends shivers down my spine. So for those who know me, a bonding moment with my son, Joey.
The reason why I feel this way is because he made it that morning at school and all day he had to have thought about how proud I would be of his careful cutting skills. The fact that he actually cares how much I am proud of him means that he loves me. The fact that I know for a fact that he loves me makes my heart well up and almost makes me feel like I could cry.
One may ask why after almost three years of caring for a boy every single day, that just now I am feeling this? The answer is: I am not just now feeling love. I get I love yous, photographs, presents, and other things from this boy. He is a loving boy. I know he loves his Father the most and no one can ever compare to him. I know that he also loves his Mother and I know that he loves me. But when you see this small boy of five that you have known all of his life show signs of maturity, to love AND care, and feel that feeling of accomplisment it makes you well up. It lets me know that he really truely thinks the world of me. Whatever anyone has ever said to him about his Father and I, none of that matters because not only does he care what we think of him he cares what we FEEL. To me that is the ultimate love. I am glad to have that relationship with him because the only other person he has ever shown that kind of care and love for his is Father, who everyone knows is Joey's world. Joey may not ever show that kind of care again, but I will always remember that moment on September 28th after school, where Joey age five wanted me to be proud of his accomplishment of cutting his book about spiders.
Now, onto my point of why I am writing.
A few days ago while at work, I believe I was changing Gavins diaper, an Amber Alert interuppted the TV program Grandma B was watching. They were warning everyone that a 3 week old baby girl had been kidnapped out of Toulon, which is not very far from where I work or reside. The thought of this little baby being kidnapped made my heart drop and my stomach hurt. I told my Mother in Law that I prayed to God that this infant would have been stolen by someone who would take care of her, not harm her, as odd as that may sound to some of you.
The overwheleming amount of facebook amber alert posts started and I believe that everyone all over was looking, waiting, hoping, that this infant girl Mia was okay.
As the story unravled it was found that a woman in Yellow sweatpants was parked next to the girl who was at the post office with two of her children. My first thought is, why would you not take your children into the post office? Surely it would have only taken a minute? Some say that maybe she ran inside because it was too cold to take the children out a lot. Then you shouldn't have taken your child at all. Why would one take a newborn but not a 10 month old? She then couldn't provide what the woman looked like, just what kind of pants she had on and what color her car was and what was in the back seat of the car.
Fast forwarding to later on it had been said the Mother had been arrested. I was glad because I felt that no trip to the post office was that important to knowingly leave your children in the car. The difference between the parents who forgot and the parents who know is the fact that the parents who know are knowingly putting their children in danger and the parents who honestly had forgotten they wouldn't have ever ever ever wanted or think about leaving their children in the car. Even though they did.
Anyway, later on I had this feeling that this girl since having gotten pregnant so quickly after having one child I felt that she possibly could have had post partum depression. Not that I found that should be used as an excuse to get out of prison but I felt that it is an EXCUSE to recieve HELP.
A lot of people talk a lot of smack about what they would or wouldn't do. A lot of people say that they should stick her in the chair and fry her. A lot of people are just so quick to want to take the life of someone, which is sick actually if you think about it. Those are the people you should watch out for.
So,The infant was found in a ditch in the country. The fact that she was found was actually a huge relief off of my shoulders and the fact that her mother did it made me feel some kind of relief as morbid as that may sound, because I was thinking of this crazy woman in ugly sweat pants snatching babies to live with her and her other twelve children in the woods of Illinois!!!
When you have post partum depression you are simply crazy. You know you are crazy and so many women do not go get help for it because everyone is always so close to point the finger and tell them that they are nuts and shouldn't have children. But the fact of the matter is: She didn't ditch both of her children. which leads me to believe this baby could be colicky? Maybe she just couldn't handle it. The small part of me believes that she loved her child. She did not kill her and and she left her in the country only to know that the farmers are picking. Someone would have found her. I think this was her cry for help, but in the wrong way. PPD makes you do awful things, again, not an excuse to stay ouf of prison.
What would you do? What wouldn't you do? None of you know. You can say you know, but you really do not know. Pray to God you will never know what it feels like to be that low, to be that sick, to have thousands of people hate you because of what you have done.
When we got home I didn't know what to expect because my guy Joe tends to have surprises that are slimey, scratchy or stinky. We all got setteled in and he shows me this book about spiders. I read this book and the drawings and colors and I say to him "Job well done! But did you cut this book out yourself?" as I hold the book up in the air to examin it, he says to me, "yes! and that is the surprise, I knew you would LOVE how I cut this book, and you can have it."
To most it would just be some paper that the kids cut out at school and learned about spiders. But for me it was a bonding moment with my step-son Joey. The words "step" always sends shivers down my spine. So for those who know me, a bonding moment with my son, Joey.
The reason why I feel this way is because he made it that morning at school and all day he had to have thought about how proud I would be of his careful cutting skills. The fact that he actually cares how much I am proud of him means that he loves me. The fact that I know for a fact that he loves me makes my heart well up and almost makes me feel like I could cry.
One may ask why after almost three years of caring for a boy every single day, that just now I am feeling this? The answer is: I am not just now feeling love. I get I love yous, photographs, presents, and other things from this boy. He is a loving boy. I know he loves his Father the most and no one can ever compare to him. I know that he also loves his Mother and I know that he loves me. But when you see this small boy of five that you have known all of his life show signs of maturity, to love AND care, and feel that feeling of accomplisment it makes you well up. It lets me know that he really truely thinks the world of me. Whatever anyone has ever said to him about his Father and I, none of that matters because not only does he care what we think of him he cares what we FEEL. To me that is the ultimate love. I am glad to have that relationship with him because the only other person he has ever shown that kind of care and love for his is Father, who everyone knows is Joey's world. Joey may not ever show that kind of care again, but I will always remember that moment on September 28th after school, where Joey age five wanted me to be proud of his accomplishment of cutting his book about spiders.
Now, onto my point of why I am writing.
A few days ago while at work, I believe I was changing Gavins diaper, an Amber Alert interuppted the TV program Grandma B was watching. They were warning everyone that a 3 week old baby girl had been kidnapped out of Toulon, which is not very far from where I work or reside. The thought of this little baby being kidnapped made my heart drop and my stomach hurt. I told my Mother in Law that I prayed to God that this infant would have been stolen by someone who would take care of her, not harm her, as odd as that may sound to some of you.
The overwheleming amount of facebook amber alert posts started and I believe that everyone all over was looking, waiting, hoping, that this infant girl Mia was okay.
As the story unravled it was found that a woman in Yellow sweatpants was parked next to the girl who was at the post office with two of her children. My first thought is, why would you not take your children into the post office? Surely it would have only taken a minute? Some say that maybe she ran inside because it was too cold to take the children out a lot. Then you shouldn't have taken your child at all. Why would one take a newborn but not a 10 month old? She then couldn't provide what the woman looked like, just what kind of pants she had on and what color her car was and what was in the back seat of the car.
Fast forwarding to later on it had been said the Mother had been arrested. I was glad because I felt that no trip to the post office was that important to knowingly leave your children in the car. The difference between the parents who forgot and the parents who know is the fact that the parents who know are knowingly putting their children in danger and the parents who honestly had forgotten they wouldn't have ever ever ever wanted or think about leaving their children in the car. Even though they did.
Anyway, later on I had this feeling that this girl since having gotten pregnant so quickly after having one child I felt that she possibly could have had post partum depression. Not that I found that should be used as an excuse to get out of prison but I felt that it is an EXCUSE to recieve HELP.
A lot of people talk a lot of smack about what they would or wouldn't do. A lot of people say that they should stick her in the chair and fry her. A lot of people are just so quick to want to take the life of someone, which is sick actually if you think about it. Those are the people you should watch out for.
So,The infant was found in a ditch in the country. The fact that she was found was actually a huge relief off of my shoulders and the fact that her mother did it made me feel some kind of relief as morbid as that may sound, because I was thinking of this crazy woman in ugly sweat pants snatching babies to live with her and her other twelve children in the woods of Illinois!!!
When you have post partum depression you are simply crazy. You know you are crazy and so many women do not go get help for it because everyone is always so close to point the finger and tell them that they are nuts and shouldn't have children. But the fact of the matter is: She didn't ditch both of her children. which leads me to believe this baby could be colicky? Maybe she just couldn't handle it. The small part of me believes that she loved her child. She did not kill her and and she left her in the country only to know that the farmers are picking. Someone would have found her. I think this was her cry for help, but in the wrong way. PPD makes you do awful things, again, not an excuse to stay ouf of prison.
What would you do? What wouldn't you do? None of you know. You can say you know, but you really do not know. Pray to God you will never know what it feels like to be that low, to be that sick, to have thousands of people hate you because of what you have done.
Friday, September 21, 2012
Master Mom
Family Stress:
As usual around this time of year Jay and I get stressed out. We are trying to save our pennies so we can get thru the month of October. Since my husband has to pay maintenance in the form of child support (lol) to his ex wife and he hardly gets a "base pay" check anyway it makes it rough.( Oct-April Jay and I are going on unemployment since our work is seasonal) But we always get through it. This year seems to be a little different since we have taken on a lot of home improvements (Tuck pointing the house, re-doing the plumbing/flooring, just to name a few) we have a five year plan for our home in what we would like to do for it and it just seems like our goals aren't being met as fast as we had planned. He and I have been together going on four years in December and lived together almost over two and a half years and we've really wanted to do a lot more with the house than we have. SO besides money problems and home improvement quotas not being met we have been a little bit on the assy side to each other.
It felt really nice today when he just grabbed my face really hard and planted one on me. He told me everything was going to be okay. That really made me smile, because I could feel that spark of romance that is there but is just so buried in stress! I also felt at peace. I really felt like everything was just going to work out and be okay. I know that it always is okay. I guess the stressors of having such a big family are finally really really settling in. We are doing the things we've always wanted to do and have the things we've always wanted to have which also needs to be in with being on top of our bills and being the ones to get whatever the kids need at all times.
ANYTHING ELSE:
Tomorrow I have two games at the same time, Grandparents day, two birthday parties, and need to do my sisters hair for homecoming! I think I will be turning in a bit early tonight!
Well, the husband is calling me from LOWE'S about flooring so I shall go.
xoxox
Mrs. Roy
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
It was like having a newborn again.
Now that I have downed an entire monster zero, cleaned 90% of my house (dishes beware) now I am sitting down and trying to keep awake and keep going...........I decided to write a blog because I have not in quite sometime in this neck of the woods. Sorry for anything that might not make sense or any typos you might come to :P
I've got some PBS show on TV, Joey running around with a NERO sword in his underwear with a toy drill in the side pretending to kill zombies...A baby that is sick (hence the sleep dep.) and all of the rest of the kids are doing their own thing. I kind of feel like I am on vacation since nothing is going on at the moment HAHA!
So anyway, last night about 11pm I heard Gavin in the other room with his barking cough. Then struggling to breath. I woke up, checked his temp, gave him some meds, and crawled back into bed. Barking coughs later, I brought him into bed with me laying on my chest. I turned on a hot shower at some point I am not sure what time so we could get some steam going on. Went back to bed, and after Tossing and turning and being restless I decided to let my husband alone and go downstairs. After being downstairs and finding myself getting frustraited I decided to call the hubby on the phone and tell him I need him to come downstairs with the baby so I can at least get an hours worth of sleep.
He was irritated as much as I was all day long. I took Gavin to the doctor and he has croup which sounds terrible itself. I remember when Alexander had gotten croup before I obviously was a new Mom and I really thought he was going to have to be hospitalized! I think the only other child besides Gavin and Alexander that I've had to do that with is Dylan. When Dylan was about 10/11 months old I remember staying up all night with him when he was sick because he had that icky barky cough and then I do recall maybe last year he may have started to get that cough but John and I caught that pretty quickly.
Anyway, enough of this sickness stuff. I wanted to let you know that I am having such a fun time with these kids in school. They are growing and learning and it's just so amazing to me how well they are doing. Well, most of them.
Aiden is struggling a little bit more than I would have liked him to. I have been working on him a lot more than I work with the others simply because he is just not on the same leval as Joey or Miley. He is all over the place half of the time and he doesn't seem to remember things that I have already went with him. Although a praise is: is writing is improving. He is forming his letters right and he is grasping on to certain site words now which a week ago he was not even doing.
Joseph is my little reader, which I wouldn't have suspected any differently. He and Alexander are best friends and Alexander is always constantly reading. I teach him his pop corn words every night (site words) and he knows them all. I'm far too impressed with how he grasps things and I am very glad that he got his quick learning from his Father!
Alexander, as always, is doing fantastic in school. He is doing something called RTI and he can't stop talking about it. He got a "caught being good" card today in school. One of his buddies named Kacie wanted to be a part that he was in this play they are doing in RTI, and he gave her his part even though he wanted it, too. What a gentlemen :)
Miley is on par with everything she is supposed to be doing. She seems to be more concerned with social status at school though, which terrifies me because this is Knoxville. Kids are harsh everywhere but when you live in a small town like this you tend to have a bit more harshness twords one another. We shall see.
Dylan is doing very well too. He is getting compliments on how well he does things and I am always getting good feedback when I ask how he has done for the day. We have just recently learned how to set a table :) That is one of his "extra work" things that he doesn't have to do but we choose to do because it's good for him :)
Aside from all of this updates from the children everything is going rather well. My husband had just had to re do our plumbing. We had a HUGE problem where tree roots were growing into our plumbing. We didn't have proper plumbing for a day or two and were going to the restroom/taking baths at relatives homes. I was so glad when we didn't have to do that anymore. You NEVER know what you have until it is gone, let me tell you. My husband deserves a huge award for being able to pull off a six thousand dollar job (professionally done) for just about 300 dollars. The plus side is I got a new bathroom floor out of it ;)
Well y'all this is all I have for now and I thank you all for reading and I hope that you have a fantastic rest of the week!
x0x0x
Mrs. Roy
I've got some PBS show on TV, Joey running around with a NERO sword in his underwear with a toy drill in the side pretending to kill zombies...A baby that is sick (hence the sleep dep.) and all of the rest of the kids are doing their own thing. I kind of feel like I am on vacation since nothing is going on at the moment HAHA!
So anyway, last night about 11pm I heard Gavin in the other room with his barking cough. Then struggling to breath. I woke up, checked his temp, gave him some meds, and crawled back into bed. Barking coughs later, I brought him into bed with me laying on my chest. I turned on a hot shower at some point I am not sure what time so we could get some steam going on. Went back to bed, and after Tossing and turning and being restless I decided to let my husband alone and go downstairs. After being downstairs and finding myself getting frustraited I decided to call the hubby on the phone and tell him I need him to come downstairs with the baby so I can at least get an hours worth of sleep.
He was irritated as much as I was all day long. I took Gavin to the doctor and he has croup which sounds terrible itself. I remember when Alexander had gotten croup before I obviously was a new Mom and I really thought he was going to have to be hospitalized! I think the only other child besides Gavin and Alexander that I've had to do that with is Dylan. When Dylan was about 10/11 months old I remember staying up all night with him when he was sick because he had that icky barky cough and then I do recall maybe last year he may have started to get that cough but John and I caught that pretty quickly.
Anyway, enough of this sickness stuff. I wanted to let you know that I am having such a fun time with these kids in school. They are growing and learning and it's just so amazing to me how well they are doing. Well, most of them.
Aiden is struggling a little bit more than I would have liked him to. I have been working on him a lot more than I work with the others simply because he is just not on the same leval as Joey or Miley. He is all over the place half of the time and he doesn't seem to remember things that I have already went with him. Although a praise is: is writing is improving. He is forming his letters right and he is grasping on to certain site words now which a week ago he was not even doing.
Joseph is my little reader, which I wouldn't have suspected any differently. He and Alexander are best friends and Alexander is always constantly reading. I teach him his pop corn words every night (site words) and he knows them all. I'm far too impressed with how he grasps things and I am very glad that he got his quick learning from his Father!
Alexander, as always, is doing fantastic in school. He is doing something called RTI and he can't stop talking about it. He got a "caught being good" card today in school. One of his buddies named Kacie wanted to be a part that he was in this play they are doing in RTI, and he gave her his part even though he wanted it, too. What a gentlemen :)
Miley is on par with everything she is supposed to be doing. She seems to be more concerned with social status at school though, which terrifies me because this is Knoxville. Kids are harsh everywhere but when you live in a small town like this you tend to have a bit more harshness twords one another. We shall see.
Dylan is doing very well too. He is getting compliments on how well he does things and I am always getting good feedback when I ask how he has done for the day. We have just recently learned how to set a table :) That is one of his "extra work" things that he doesn't have to do but we choose to do because it's good for him :)
Aside from all of this updates from the children everything is going rather well. My husband had just had to re do our plumbing. We had a HUGE problem where tree roots were growing into our plumbing. We didn't have proper plumbing for a day or two and were going to the restroom/taking baths at relatives homes. I was so glad when we didn't have to do that anymore. You NEVER know what you have until it is gone, let me tell you. My husband deserves a huge award for being able to pull off a six thousand dollar job (professionally done) for just about 300 dollars. The plus side is I got a new bathroom floor out of it ;)
Well y'all this is all I have for now and I thank you all for reading and I hope that you have a fantastic rest of the week!
x0x0x
Mrs. Roy
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Birthdays....and other things.
I love this song. It always makes me tear up slightly! It makes me think of all of the children and how they are growing up so quickly. I can't imagine my life without them.
Two birthdays have came and gone. Alexander turned 8 years old and my last baby boy Gavin, 1 year old. It was a wonderful day to celebrate with family!
TOMORROW a certain boy named Dylan will be three years old. I have watched him grow from a newborn to this. It's certainly amazing how much he has transformed into a little boy. He tries so hard to keep up with his brothers and sister, it's kind of funny. Sometimes when we are sitting there watching a movie and he crawls up onto my lap and snuggles in and tells me he loves me makes me know that everything I have fought for in my life matters because of that very moment. It is the same with the other kids as well, of course. Dyl is just at that stage of love before he becomes more of a rowdy kid and doesn't want to sit down and just chill out.
Besides birthdays here are my "other things"
Have you ever felt like there are some people in this world you simply cannot please? It does not matter what you do for them or with them. I feel like I am my wits end sometimes, but I try to remember that I am trying to be a better person for not only myself but to try to be an example for my kids. It's not just one person but it's a particular group of people whether it be family or friends. I guess the only thing I can do is hold my head high and know I do my best at everything I do and if that's not enough for you, then you aren't enough for me.
Well I need to sign off and watch Americas Next Top Model. My guilty pleasure.
xoxxo
Mrs Roy.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Things have been going so smoothly lately around here it's almost a little unnerving. This past weekend with the children was peaceful. We dubbed Saturday nights family fun nights. The kids were looking so forward to it on Friday and early morning Saturday. I think that it is wonderful that the children are wanting to spend more time with us as parents. It's especially important in this day and age to spend more time as a family. We eat as a family, we watch movies as a family, and now we will be having our fun night to ensure we get a good amount of fun time with our children. Afterall, they are not going to be this little forever. They are going to become teenagers and Mom and Dad wont be cool anymore to hang out with. They will have their own friends and their own problems to focus on. I pretty much can wait for that day to happen.
I have been reflecting so much lately on how much the kids have changed. The kids are forming their personalities more and more every day. It's so hilarious to watch it. Gavin has started to throw quite the temper tantrums which I am sure will become worse (*cross fingers* hope not) as he gets older. I can blame it on my husband (haha) because I remember another little boy that used to throw awful tantrums (and sometimes still does) and that would be Mr. Joseph. Roy! Dylan will be 3 soon, Gavin 1, Alex 8, Joey just turned 5 and the twins will also be turning 5 this summer.
Dylans progress with things has become so amazing. John and I work with him every day on his speech (he talks better than most even 3 year olds I've seen) and his colors, numbers, so on and so forth.
Joey has started to read things. John and I have been working VERY hard with him on that as well for the past couple of months. Today he read "no parking" at the school today and I was so proud. He did it all on his own. I think that he is going to be another bookworm like Alexander, which is awesome.
Alexander scored high on his reading test in school. He scored extremely above average and of course I was all boasting about it. He got straight A's on his report card & so this weekend J is taking him to the monster trucks which I hope they have good bonding time with.
Aidens speech teacher is very impressed with Aidens improvement on speech. He loves doing his "spelling words" (speech words) at home with me and I love doing it with him. We will on occasion have a conversation where he will slip up and say "no" instead of "snow" but his "s" is doing impressively better.
Last but not least, Miley Mae. Miss Miley Mae is wanting to be a big girl and do a lot of big girl things. She is always up my butt and fighting for a position with me since Dylan and Gavin are constantly on my lap or following me around. We have been doing a lot of "girly" time lately. So I am hoping that helps her feel more important. It must be hard living in a house full of boys.
Well---I am rambling on now and I need to go get some laundry done. I hope everyone has a fantastic week and thank you for reading
Mrs. Roy
Saturday, January 21, 2012
My goodness it's been such a long time!
Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't posted a blog in quite awhile. I really have not had much to talk about lately. But there are a lot of changes going on around here that I am very happy to report!
First of all, Christmas went well. The kids were more than happy with their gifts as was I. It was a great holiday week spending time with family and friends.
So we have a new member of our family! We adopted him last week. His name Is Jester & he is 3 years old. John and I had entertained the idea of getting a dog for awhile. After the fiasco with our cat I was very reluctant. But after talking, J told me that we should just go for one breed of dog (that being a Labrador) and I concurred. So we went to the human society and looked at all of the dogs.
I was amazed at the amount of terriers they have. It made me quite sad. I am not a pit bull fan at all & I think that you have to have an acquired love for dogs such as that. Their was a black Labrador there that we were almost certain we were going to get. He was a little hyper because he was a puppy still so I was slightly nervous..He also was not potty trained. The woman told me that she would show me Jester but they currently were not looking to have him adopted because an accident happened because of a dumb ass volunteer. The dog had been attacked my other dogs and had sever wounds on his legs and throat from pit bulls. However, he had been doing better!
So in my experience of picking out our perfect family dog....Jester stole our hearts. I actually cried being the big sap that I am. I had never see a dog hug a human being before but he did. He hugged J and I cried and we knew that he belonged in our home!
Overall he is a good dog. We got his history in the mail yesterday, poor baby has had his name changed. He goes by "buddy" and he also goes by "Jester" he had been in the humane society of fulton county before which broke my heart. He had been given up not once but TWICE. Poor baby. We won't give up on him!
In other news...Things that are going around here are:
LEARNING TABLE MANNERS!
I can not express how tired I am of hearing about farts, buttholes, balls, and weenies. I am tired of the kids getting up, running around, throwing food, just acting like pure neanderthals. Not a big fan. So we have recently enforced a rule, if you get up, you go to bed. If you do not ask to be excused, you go to bed. You will eat dinner alone. It came to that extreme because the children decided our rules did not matter anyway and they would continue to be disrespectful at the dinner table. Here we are going into week two? of enforcement of table manners and the children are asking to be excused, if they want more they say "more PLEASE" and THANK YOU and they also throw away their extra food into the garbage and put their OWN dishes in the sink. I call this a victory! The butthole and fart talk isn't as bad but hopefully it will quit soon....I have noticed dinner tastes so much better when you don't have to hear about poop, too. (haha!)
Well it's about time for me to sign out. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
xxxx
Mrs. Roy
First of all, Christmas went well. The kids were more than happy with their gifts as was I. It was a great holiday week spending time with family and friends.
So we have a new member of our family! We adopted him last week. His name Is Jester & he is 3 years old. John and I had entertained the idea of getting a dog for awhile. After the fiasco with our cat I was very reluctant. But after talking, J told me that we should just go for one breed of dog (that being a Labrador) and I concurred. So we went to the human society and looked at all of the dogs.
I was amazed at the amount of terriers they have. It made me quite sad. I am not a pit bull fan at all & I think that you have to have an acquired love for dogs such as that. Their was a black Labrador there that we were almost certain we were going to get. He was a little hyper because he was a puppy still so I was slightly nervous..He also was not potty trained. The woman told me that she would show me Jester but they currently were not looking to have him adopted because an accident happened because of a dumb ass volunteer. The dog had been attacked my other dogs and had sever wounds on his legs and throat from pit bulls. However, he had been doing better!
So in my experience of picking out our perfect family dog....Jester stole our hearts. I actually cried being the big sap that I am. I had never see a dog hug a human being before but he did. He hugged J and I cried and we knew that he belonged in our home!
Overall he is a good dog. We got his history in the mail yesterday, poor baby has had his name changed. He goes by "buddy" and he also goes by "Jester" he had been in the humane society of fulton county before which broke my heart. He had been given up not once but TWICE. Poor baby. We won't give up on him!
In other news...Things that are going around here are:
LEARNING TABLE MANNERS!
I can not express how tired I am of hearing about farts, buttholes, balls, and weenies. I am tired of the kids getting up, running around, throwing food, just acting like pure neanderthals. Not a big fan. So we have recently enforced a rule, if you get up, you go to bed. If you do not ask to be excused, you go to bed. You will eat dinner alone. It came to that extreme because the children decided our rules did not matter anyway and they would continue to be disrespectful at the dinner table. Here we are going into week two? of enforcement of table manners and the children are asking to be excused, if they want more they say "more PLEASE" and THANK YOU and they also throw away their extra food into the garbage and put their OWN dishes in the sink. I call this a victory! The butthole and fart talk isn't as bad but hopefully it will quit soon....I have noticed dinner tastes so much better when you don't have to hear about poop, too. (haha!)
Well it's about time for me to sign out. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
xxxx
Mrs. Roy
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
TOP 10 things I am thankful for USING PICTURES
My kids, my husband, my friends, my family, my car, tattoos, my house, our pet fish (gary), nights at the lake with my husband, and dove chocolate.
HOPE EVERYONE HAS A HAPPY THANKSGIVING
XOXOXOX
Thursday, November 17, 2011
What is happening in this chaotic house you may ask?
No, actually right now we are in the midst of potty training Dylan. He turns 3 in March, and while we have tried potty training before and buying pull-up after pull-up, I decided that it was time. I told J that this week since I would be having Dylan at work with me during the day....That I REALLY REALLY would like to concentrate on Dylan and the potty. With my money giving and GaGa's M&M dispenser, it's been helping a lot....So, So far so good! We have had up to six accidents a day but today we have only had two. I know that he is ready to do this because he has been going to the potty by himself (today) and he clearly wants to potty. So wish us luck on that because I would like for him to be about 80% or fully potty trained by Sunday.
xoxo
Mrs. Roy
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Another day another day another day
So the year has almost came and gone. It's November already & I can not believe it. The kids have already grown so much & it's amazing how it happens right before our very eyes.
Alexander- What is there to say about my straight A student? He is the only 7 year old I have ever met that isn't allowed to read books that are 'of age'. He is required by his teacher & the Librarian that he reads 4th grade and up books. I can seriously pride myself in how smart Alexander is.
Joseph- He is learning how to read things slowly but surely. J & myself have been working very hard at asking him how to spell certain things. One day he drew me a picture and wrote "Mom" and I was simply amazed that he figured it out. He knows how to write & spell everyone in our homes names. He is working on spelling other words such as cat & dog. He will be 4 soon & J and myself are trying to plan the best birthday yet for him.
Aiden- He is getting so much better with his speech. His speech therapist is very pleased with how quickly he is improving with his speech & is applauding us at home for working with him. He has started to write his name & recognize letters as well. A huge step forward for my sweet boy.
Miley- She has been such a Mommys girl lately. She also can spell and write her own name & she has been working on writing "Mom" and we are working on other words as well. She wants to write "Dad" and "John" but those are still yet tricky for her.
Dylan- I have been trying really hard with potty training but getting no where fast. I am telling my husband that we really need to eliminate the diapers & pull ups completely. He can speak clearer than any other 2 year old I have ever met and I know he comprehends more than most. Also, I have been working with him on being more independent. I am trying to teach him to put his own clothes & shoes on without getting frustraited. Even if he puts things on backwards it is a huge start from hearing "I'M the baby, I can't" and he cries. I'm sure while he still feels like he should be the baby, he will be starting pre-school soon and this mind set that he has is simply not going to work.
Gavin- He is going to be nine months old soon (insert sad face here) I can not believe this is happening. He is mobile but not quite how he should be. Instead of crawling he rolls around everywhere....He is eating stage 3 foods and he still does not have teeth. He is working on waving hello and goodbye...(we have got him to do it JUST a few times!) but all in all he just Gavin. He is smart, silly, and just beautiful.
Things for J & myself have been slightly stressful lately. We aren't fighting more than usual or anything like that. There has just been a lot of 'outside' problems that have been stressing us out. I'm sure it will get better soon, though!
I hope everyone had a great weekend!
xoxoxox
Mrs. Roy
Alexander- What is there to say about my straight A student? He is the only 7 year old I have ever met that isn't allowed to read books that are 'of age'. He is required by his teacher & the Librarian that he reads 4th grade and up books. I can seriously pride myself in how smart Alexander is.
Joseph- He is learning how to read things slowly but surely. J & myself have been working very hard at asking him how to spell certain things. One day he drew me a picture and wrote "Mom" and I was simply amazed that he figured it out. He knows how to write & spell everyone in our homes names. He is working on spelling other words such as cat & dog. He will be 4 soon & J and myself are trying to plan the best birthday yet for him.
Aiden- He is getting so much better with his speech. His speech therapist is very pleased with how quickly he is improving with his speech & is applauding us at home for working with him. He has started to write his name & recognize letters as well. A huge step forward for my sweet boy.
Miley- She has been such a Mommys girl lately. She also can spell and write her own name & she has been working on writing "Mom" and we are working on other words as well. She wants to write "Dad" and "John" but those are still yet tricky for her.
Dylan- I have been trying really hard with potty training but getting no where fast. I am telling my husband that we really need to eliminate the diapers & pull ups completely. He can speak clearer than any other 2 year old I have ever met and I know he comprehends more than most. Also, I have been working with him on being more independent. I am trying to teach him to put his own clothes & shoes on without getting frustraited. Even if he puts things on backwards it is a huge start from hearing "I'M the baby, I can't" and he cries. I'm sure while he still feels like he should be the baby, he will be starting pre-school soon and this mind set that he has is simply not going to work.
Gavin- He is going to be nine months old soon (insert sad face here) I can not believe this is happening. He is mobile but not quite how he should be. Instead of crawling he rolls around everywhere....He is eating stage 3 foods and he still does not have teeth. He is working on waving hello and goodbye...(we have got him to do it JUST a few times!) but all in all he just Gavin. He is smart, silly, and just beautiful.
Things for J & myself have been slightly stressful lately. We aren't fighting more than usual or anything like that. There has just been a lot of 'outside' problems that have been stressing us out. I'm sure it will get better soon, though!
I hope everyone had a great weekend!
xoxoxox
Mrs. Roy
Saturday, October 22, 2011
You are important. I am important.
There are just some days I don't want to get out of bed and do anything. There are some days where I just feel like "Why bother?" but most days I have been feeling pretty darn good.
So anyway, with trying to stay positive with things, I have been having a hard time. I have been battling myself with the way I look and battling myself with how things are done. Some days, like the past few days, I have been feeling so unappreciated and unimportant.
Tuesday, I think it was, I didn't go to work because Dylan was sick. His Mom was also sick so I stayed home with him. J has come into some work so he was unable to be home with him so I could go to work. (his job is seasonal so he is trying to find some things to do for a little extra $ since we are so broke) I didn't have a problem staying home with him at all, in fact, it was nice having some 1-1 bonding time with him while Gavin did his own thing.
Friday I was feeling a tad bit discouraged when after I had dropped the boys off, their Mom had thought she had pink eye and text messaged me shortly after I had dropped them off. I offered to leave work and come get them, but she wanted to spend some time with them since she doesn't get to see them much. With understanding, I waited around for some kind of response in what I was supposed to do. J, was still doing this odd job, so he was unable to be the one who is on stand by. I was ready to leave and go home by 1pm & I offered to come get them since she had mentioned that she didn't have gas to drop them off at home. I figured that I would be on that side of town anyway so I might as well offer, if she did have pink eye. It never really came out whether she had the eye infection or not but they were put in my care around 1:30ish and I had to pick up Alexander by 3pm. So anyway, I called J and told him I had all five kids since I got the boys early, and I wanted him to come home so I could go get Alex and not have to haul all 5 to the school. He was unable to & so I could feel my temper rising.
I sat there and I wondered where these people would be without me. I was so ticked off by that point because its extreemly frustrating to take the kids places by myself. I need someone to help me, you know? So while I was feeling sorry for myself I finally broke out and told J how I felt. I told him, you know, I may just be the step mom but I do a hell of a lot for these boys with little to no help from anyone most of the time. I feel like sometimes I am taken advantage of because I am so kind, and I will continue to be so kind. It's not the fact of what I had to do it was the POINT of it all. The point of doing everything by myself. So here I am, throwing a fit about this, and what I wasn't seeming to understand that all of my anger and frustration shouldn't have been taken out on my husband because he was out trying to earn money for our family since we have none.
I don't even really think that I was angry. I guess just a simple "Thank you" from people would be nice sometimes. When I do things for people, when I clearly don't have to do anything for them, I just would like to receive a simple thanks. That is all. I don't need a billboard or a dozen roses..Just some kind of appreciation for picking up the slack as I usually do. I may just be the step-mom, but this step mom does every single thing that she is supposed to do and more. If I didn't do the things that I do I would be frowned upon, and when I do do the things I do, it's frowned upon. So it's a lose lose situation in my world.
I am important. No one else can tell me otherwise. My husband said to me, while I was throwing my fit, that I was the most important person in the world & that he loved me. That simple sentence just made all of the difference in the world. I don't care what anyone says, it's nice to be recognized sometimes. And sometimes, at the end of the day, when I hear 5 little I love yous (soon to be six, I'm sure) I know that is my recognition. And it makes it all worth it.
So anyway, with trying to stay positive with things, I have been having a hard time. I have been battling myself with the way I look and battling myself with how things are done. Some days, like the past few days, I have been feeling so unappreciated and unimportant.
Tuesday, I think it was, I didn't go to work because Dylan was sick. His Mom was also sick so I stayed home with him. J has come into some work so he was unable to be home with him so I could go to work. (his job is seasonal so he is trying to find some things to do for a little extra $ since we are so broke) I didn't have a problem staying home with him at all, in fact, it was nice having some 1-1 bonding time with him while Gavin did his own thing.
Friday I was feeling a tad bit discouraged when after I had dropped the boys off, their Mom had thought she had pink eye and text messaged me shortly after I had dropped them off. I offered to leave work and come get them, but she wanted to spend some time with them since she doesn't get to see them much. With understanding, I waited around for some kind of response in what I was supposed to do. J, was still doing this odd job, so he was unable to be the one who is on stand by. I was ready to leave and go home by 1pm & I offered to come get them since she had mentioned that she didn't have gas to drop them off at home. I figured that I would be on that side of town anyway so I might as well offer, if she did have pink eye. It never really came out whether she had the eye infection or not but they were put in my care around 1:30ish and I had to pick up Alexander by 3pm. So anyway, I called J and told him I had all five kids since I got the boys early, and I wanted him to come home so I could go get Alex and not have to haul all 5 to the school. He was unable to & so I could feel my temper rising.
I sat there and I wondered where these people would be without me. I was so ticked off by that point because its extreemly frustrating to take the kids places by myself. I need someone to help me, you know? So while I was feeling sorry for myself I finally broke out and told J how I felt. I told him, you know, I may just be the step mom but I do a hell of a lot for these boys with little to no help from anyone most of the time. I feel like sometimes I am taken advantage of because I am so kind, and I will continue to be so kind. It's not the fact of what I had to do it was the POINT of it all. The point of doing everything by myself. So here I am, throwing a fit about this, and what I wasn't seeming to understand that all of my anger and frustration shouldn't have been taken out on my husband because he was out trying to earn money for our family since we have none.
I don't even really think that I was angry. I guess just a simple "Thank you" from people would be nice sometimes. When I do things for people, when I clearly don't have to do anything for them, I just would like to receive a simple thanks. That is all. I don't need a billboard or a dozen roses..Just some kind of appreciation for picking up the slack as I usually do. I may just be the step-mom, but this step mom does every single thing that she is supposed to do and more. If I didn't do the things that I do I would be frowned upon, and when I do do the things I do, it's frowned upon. So it's a lose lose situation in my world.
I am important. No one else can tell me otherwise. My husband said to me, while I was throwing my fit, that I was the most important person in the world & that he loved me. That simple sentence just made all of the difference in the world. I don't care what anyone says, it's nice to be recognized sometimes. And sometimes, at the end of the day, when I hear 5 little I love yous (soon to be six, I'm sure) I know that is my recognition. And it makes it all worth it.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Our family update(just incase you were wondering)
Ahhh, so I have been entirely too busy to sit down & write & I have the next 15 minutes alone so I shall see what I can come up with without being completely boring!
So a couple weeks ago the kids' pre-school teacher came over for a parent-teacher home visit, to speak with us about the kids. (More like, I talked to the teacher, the teacher talked to me about the kids, while J would say a word or a nod, lol.) Anyway she brought it to my attention that she noticed that Aiden's speech is terrible. You can understand him some what but mostly you can not understand a word he says. So anyway, she referred him to a speech therapist and she gave me a list of words and things to work on at home with him. He had his first meeting with his speech therapist after our meeting two weeks ago, yesterday, and I am happy to say that she said that he is improving and to keep up the good work at home!
Nothing really major has been going on in our lives lately. Everything has been going pretty smooth. Alexander is in cub scouts & doing awesome! Joseph, Aiden, & Miley are about to finish up with their first soccer experience, Dylan is as rotten and sweet as ever, and oh oh yes Gavin sits up by himself and he is way of transportation is to roll around everywhere...I guess he decided to screw the crawling business and roll, lol. He will be 8 months old on the 16th. I have no idea where these past 8 months have gone but I would like for my very last baby, ever, to stop growing up so fast!
I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend & I will try to write more...Promise =-)
So a couple weeks ago the kids' pre-school teacher came over for a parent-teacher home visit, to speak with us about the kids. (More like, I talked to the teacher, the teacher talked to me about the kids, while J would say a word or a nod, lol.) Anyway she brought it to my attention that she noticed that Aiden's speech is terrible. You can understand him some what but mostly you can not understand a word he says. So anyway, she referred him to a speech therapist and she gave me a list of words and things to work on at home with him. He had his first meeting with his speech therapist after our meeting two weeks ago, yesterday, and I am happy to say that she said that he is improving and to keep up the good work at home!
Nothing really major has been going on in our lives lately. Everything has been going pretty smooth. Alexander is in cub scouts & doing awesome! Joseph, Aiden, & Miley are about to finish up with their first soccer experience, Dylan is as rotten and sweet as ever, and oh oh yes Gavin sits up by himself and he is way of transportation is to roll around everywhere...I guess he decided to screw the crawling business and roll, lol. He will be 8 months old on the 16th. I have no idea where these past 8 months have gone but I would like for my very last baby, ever, to stop growing up so fast!
I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend & I will try to write more...Promise =-)
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